Registering to vote in Kansas, 2013.
Registration Worker: NEXT! Hello. Welcome to Wal-Depot's voter registration drive. May I please see your drivers license?
Voter: Sure.
Registration Worker: May I see proof of citizenship?
Voter: uh, I don't carry around my birth certificate with me.
Registration Worker: You can register to vote now, but you will not be added to the voter rolls until you go to an election office and provide proof of your citizenship.
Voter: oh, well, OK. I have it at home and can give it to you later.
Registration Worker: And your gender please?
Voter: Female.
Registration Worker: Did you ever have a penis?
Voter: What!?
Registration Worker: Well, according to the Voter ID measure that was passed back in 2011, it is a requirement to disclose your original and current gender to register to vote. You know the state has records on this type of thing, so you can just tell me now and we'll verify it with the state. We can't have a bunch of, well, you know, a bunch of those kinds of people voting on stuff. This is critical information that we need to know before we can allow you to vote here in the great state of Kansas. We want to be sure all of the widespread voter fraud here in Kansas is ended.
Voter: Are you serious?
Registration Worker: Well, our secretary of state, Kris Kobach, when he's not on the O'Reilly Factor, he fights against those liberals over at the ACLU and is fighting to ensure that we have the strictest election laws in the country. It is very important that we have the right kind of people voting in our elections. You know, some of the violations of voter fraud now carry felony charges, so be sure to answer all of these questions correctly.
Voter: uh, seriously?
Registration Worker: Yes. You know its all about quality, not quantity. Our objective is not to get more people to vote, its to get better people to vote. You understand.
Voter: well, I'll come back another time...thanks anyway.
Registration Worker: NEXT!
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