Honestly who responds to a diary about being raped and sexually assaulted and harassed with a private message describing how you are physiologically unable to stop being turned on by boobs bouncing and how you masturbate to rape fantasies. So without directly saying it, you tell me that my diary turned you on and you masturbated to it. At least that's how it read to me. I wanted to throw up reading it. This is exactly the kind of harassment I was talking about and it's pretty icky to read such a disgusting message. I, however, am not male and would be interested in the reaction of men to what was written. Am I missing some essential understanding of male thought processes and physiology as this seems to imply? Are men truly this unable to control themselves if they happen to get turned on? The message of this is frightening to me in many ways.
I've blocked the person who sent this and have no intention of naming him as I think he was more clueless than intending to upset me. At least looking through his posting history, I didn't get the impression of someone who means ill. My own spiritual beliefs are that we should at least try to give people the benefit of the doubt on a first offense. It's the people who don't listen when you say that's offensive or say no who (or who do something far more harmful such as rape or drug someone with the intent to rape, they don't need a second chance) need the public shaming. So I decided to do a little education on why this felt harassing to me rather than publicly embarrass him.
The message is quoted below (trigger warning, you may not want to read it you have been raped), so do you think I am overreacting? I don't even know if the writer even realized how awful this is to someone who has been raped.
I will point out there are other ways to get turned than through rape fantasies. Maybe we need to be looking at how young men are exposed to rape as a turn on through porn and learn that is something exciting rather than disgusting.
i. I am a male. I decided to msg you after reading "Have you seen the big boobs on that girl?," and I apologize if I am but one of many that also decided to do this.
I left a comment about why a bystander may not "help" or intervene, but I wanted to add a few things about boobs and males. I hope this is useful. I don't pretend to speak for anyone but myself, yet I doubt the few things I will say are that far off the general mark.
I finally realized a few things about my body (I'm 40+ yrs old).
There appears to be a section at the bottom of the torso, between the legs, a little behind the scrotum/penis. It's probably an artery fork or something. When I release chemicals somewhere down there (not easy to control), blood flows into the penis. I realized from an evolutionary standpoint that that spot is probably very close to where my vagina would be if I had developed as a female. The lack of nuts/penis on a girl + a vagina hole mentally can cause the male mind (or any mind, but bear with me) to wonder to that spot in a sort of weakness way, and that can more easily lead to the start of an erection. I kid you not about this. If a spear were pushed into me down there (where as a female nothing would happen if done carefully and a small amount) I would hemorrhage in that area AND get an erection.. at least that is the reaction to that subconscious possibility. I am not saying that reaction is unavoidable, but there is a close physical connection to where that spear would poke and in one case meet vagina and "no" problem or in the other bang! -- ergo, one sees in human males, given sufficient numbers, that the species has some basic mechanism that helps keep the species alive.
Boobs. "Bouncing boobs" to be more exact. That is a sort of weakness effect as well. The fatty tissue's natural effects (rather meaningless in many ways if you have them.. and with sensitivity/pain perhaps the biggest worry if you do have them) can be linked mentally without too much difficulty (subconsciously) to different sensations down there. It doesn't itself create that much, but once you masturbate (the male) and get used to that sensation, lots of things can set it off (not totally by accident, it's actually impressed in the mind on purpose through years of effort.. to masturbate to relieve "itch"). The lesson here is that we (humans and probably anything that has a brain) create triggers in our minds for anything; however, let's give some credit where credit is due. Boobs, going from little size in the typical male's chest (especially younger males), to medium and to large as witnessed (known to be true) among females is not that far removed from the notion of a penis growing in size from little to something less so. That growth period btw, has blood flow that creates an elated feeling. As to the bounce, that's just something that draws attention to it. Oh, and a penis in in between state could conceivably bounce like that and the nipple at the end is a bit like the head of a penis. Boobs are a sort of female penis (but not a real penis -- no way -- and 2x so not the same for sure.. because if one (who has a penis) thinks of the penis, it tends to lose blood.. you have to focus on something else to gain blood). Anyway. I am not trying to invent analogies. If you want sexual stimulation, bouncing boobs aren't that difficult of clay to work with (in the mind, in other words). The big problem is the addictive effect of those sensations and the many triggers that are created when a male is in privacy. If the person ends up relying on "rape" thoughts or whatever as a way to try and get the penis going, then that means that that mind has a bunch of triggers and a potential animal hiding inside (heckyl/hyde and not exaggerating much). Yes, once upon a time, masturbation can be very difficult even for males. You potentially work at it a lot (to relive subtle itch etc). Up next, a solution and hope:
The main way to cure males is for them to be able to see their own selves as females, specifically, in a way where they "decide" ["decide" means you have to relive and undo a ton of triggers that have snuck into our heads.. not a quick or easy job] to stop associating a female body with sexual reaction triggering and instead see it for how we typically might think of our bodies, as things that most of the time aren't supposed to have any sensation whatsoever or even a painful sensation. Will many males think of the female body parts and associate with pain? Nope. In fact, because the sexual urges are not easy to quell as they have grown over years of "cultivation", looking at females as bland leaves existing mental neurons pathways looking for a replacement. Better a female than a male, for example (for many males in most societies). Trying not to think about something can be a hugely successful way to create (totally unwanted) sexual triggers, btw. That's the mind for ya. Now, this problem and many others (including racism and most anything else), can be solved, with a lot of work, but mostly solved nevertheless, if one will see himself inside the body of the other person![That prior statement, if I or anyone could explain it well (and I am working on it.. on a software game-multi-story game), would be worth it's weight in gold!] You simply lose sexual interest most of the time if that is you in that other body. You also are much more likely to treat the person with respect and generally invoke what I'll call the I-model as opposed to random that-object-model that we litter our minds with and that we use as dumping grounds for loads of triggering of emotions and crazy notions we would never apply to ourselves but which come together in the mind to fill voids we create. [The mind is just a pavlov's dog machine.. that's all any learning is.. words and things like that come later as a form of conditioned effect from hearing patterns in school and as babies, etc] If we don't fill a void when it comes to someone else with our personal beloved I-model, we create anything in its place. We get sexism and many other -isms. White males are at a disadvantage somewhat in a society dominated that way because you get less practice seeing yourself in a different body since we (white males.. ie, the dominant group in a society) are accustomed to believing most characters and things we read about are white male also. OK, it can be difficult for anyone. And it's not sure-fire apply once type of thing. It's a work in progress. Notice how easy it is to think of Trump as a monster.. judging by what you see on DKOS. A monster? [Am I a monster? Never.] Also, as a programmer of computers, I see how easy it is to see the human mind as a computer being programmed by the outside environment as perceived through the senses. In essence, why should I believe any person out there is anything more or less than simply me (as goes sensations) experiencing the world in some other way. Hard to support brutal justice/revenge/etc, since problems of humanity are mostly just a misunderstanding of humans [of the same person unable to see itself in many other places at once.. sort of]. A person who is a monster as society might see it, is just surviving from a different world view. [eg, get into a habit naively of seeing rape scenes while you are masturbating and over time you might turn into a hyde when the conditions present themselves and have a very hard time stopping.]
I'll stop there since this may be getting confusing beyond repair. Congrats (and hurray maybe this wasn't that bad) if you made it this far. Luck.
P.S. there are other ways to manage blood flow down there. Some might lead to impotence and I think a male might instinctive realize this and avoid it. You might do it if you are embarrassed, but generally there are smart and not so smart ways to manage blood flow. Just saying that the picture is more complex that what I make out above.