When asked what form of government we had, Benjamin Franklin responded, “A republic if you can keep it”. Now that the Senate, in its infinite wisdom, has refused to hear evidence and in effect acquitted, the work of Congress may have just begun. Many protocols have to be codified. Our Chief Executive and Head of State is now declared infallible. Is He a King or an Emperor? What is proper in His presence? Are we to bow/curtsy or kneel? Are we to consider Him the representative of God on Earth or a direct descendant?
Or, perhaps since we now are a Monarchy, His Highness/Majesty/Excellence/…may now just dissolve Congress and take these matters into His own small hands. Whatever He decides will, of course, be perfect. He is infallible.
In addition to the list of books to be removed from libraries and sales, including the complete works of George Orwell, among the first proclamations of the Leader, will be the Homage Act. All products sold in the U. S. that wish to be considered MAGA, will require a label indicating so. The insignia can be obtained by the remittance of a very modest 1/4 of one percent of sales to the Leader's family organization. The Leader, in his great wisdom, will certify that the product meets national ideals. Red Caps will monitor establishments to ensure they intend to Make America Great Again.
We must now plan for demolishing the White House. Such a common, humble structure is nowhere near worthy of our greatest and most benevolent leader. A most lavish and beautiful castle must take its place. It will have to express the rule of the Greatest Brain, Bravest Warrior, Brilliant Investor, Most Patriotic Citizen and Perfect (nothing to confess) Christian.
The Obelisk dedicated to George Washington can be moved to Mount Vernon. His Majesty might easily be offended by its size and symbolism. That big chair with the image of Abraham Lincoln can be disassembled and rebuilt on the grounds of his birth near Hodgenville Kentucky. These edifices to a long ago and naïve era have to make room for the new monuments to the founder of the New Age. Those will, of course, be grand and exquisite, to state for future generations the days that changed forever the quaint, eighteenth century ideas of the shortsighted clowns who rejected the rule of His Majesty, King George III,
How fine and efficient it will be to no longer suffer the tedium of a Congress debating ideas from differing points of view and different groups of citizens. We now shall be graced with the fiats of our new Great Leader. We shall all understand those dictates. They will be simplicity in itself, having come from His Great Simple Mind.
When His Majesty rewrites that arcane scrap of parchment we refer to as a “Constitution”, it will also be a paradigm of simplicity. It will be written at a fifth grade level so that its message is clear (one has to hope spell-check is turned on). Ideals such as equality, fidelity, safety, privacy, accountability, etc need not be expressed. We can trust in the Great Heart of the Monarch/Emperor/Dictator….
In short, fellow subjects, welcome to the greatest time of your lives. I have enumerated only a few of the benefits to come. It will be led by the Greatest Leader of our history. If you don’t believe me, just ask Him. His answer will be PERFECT.
GET OUT THE VOTE. YOU MAY NOT GET ANOTHER CHANCE.