Admittedly, I cannot name a reliable source, nor do I have any verification whatsoever for this claim. It just popped into my head the other day. And, the more I ponder the theory, the more reasonable (therefore frightening) it becomes. So, here goes nothin’…
Trump must have promised Bill Barr a seat on the Supreme Court.
Think about it. For an entire year now, pundits, opinion writers, legal experts, even Barr’s former co-workers have been clamoring for an explanation. Why has the grinning-frog AG been so willing and eager to hop whenever and wherever his inept, corrupt, self-serving mob boss tells him to?
Sure, everyone knows Barr is an Article II man all the way, a stalwart believer in the ultimate power of the executive branch. And, let’s face it, when it comes to bolstering the clout of the White House, he couldn’t have paired up with a more enthusiastic assist man than its current resident.
But, remember this: Trump is, by nature, a transactional beast. From day one, he and Barr must have been operating under some secretly negotiated tit-for-tat, you-kiss-my-ass/I’ll-kiss-yours (Oh, dear, THAT is NOT a pretty picture!) What was that Latin phrase again? Oh, yeah, quid pro quo. This has gotta be one of those. Right?
No question Barr has been fulfilling his end of the deal, by overtly using the DOJ to serve the president’s personal interests, whatever they happen to be. The rotund amphibian might not have foreseen how insidious (and how public) Der Trumpster’s commands would be. But, he’s a lawyer. And a contract is a contract.
But, what payoff does Barr expect in return? What reward could possibly be grand enough to tempt a prestigious legal professional, in his second dance at Justice, to obliterate his reputation and permanently taint his legacy, by blithely tossing long-established department procedure and protocol in the trash and leaving his own prosecutors twisting in the wind, with no other choice but to do the president’s bidding, or walk the plank?
The way I see it, a long, black, Triple XXX SCOTUS robe is the only prize big enough to make sense of any of this. And, what other position could possibly give Barr greater hands-on opportunity to further expand presidential power?
So, if you’re looking for yet another reason to dedicate every minute between now and November to the purpose of denying Donald Trump another four years, I invite you to share this unsettling vision…
A be-robed Justice Toad in spectacles, squatting in his own slime, warts and all, smirking down smugly from that once venerable bench, occupying the seat soon to be vacated by Ruth Bader Ginsberg. (I don’t know about you. But I’m gonna spit out what I just threw up in my mouth, give my teeth a good brushing, paste on a smile, and get to work.)
Rand Bishop (aka, Gimpy Ol’ Norman) is the author of TREK: My Peace Pilgrimage in Search of a Kinder America. Part One of Bishop’s serialized, satirical e-book novella Option (D): Dosing Donald is now available for pre-order.