I half expected Sen. Kyrsten Sinema to show up on the Senate floor today dressed as Ramses II, arriving on a pink, three-legged Shetland pony before airily plucking imaginary Skittles from Rand Paul’s leonine mane of laissez-faire locks. Turns out I should have bet the over.
Watching Sinema “legislate” is a little like watching H.R. PufnStuf on acid, only orders of magnitude more maddening. She and Sen. Joe Manchin are doing their utmost to make the world a sadder place for everyone but a handful of obscenely wealthy plutocrats. Manchin’s fig leaf is that he represents a ruby-red state (granted, it’s a state whose residents overwhelmingly back President Biden’s Build Back Better agenda). I don’t know what the hell Sinema—who launched her political career as a member of the left-wing Green Party candidate—is thinking.
The already denuded Build Back Better framework appears to be close to the finish line, but we’re still waiting on the final word from Manchin and Sinema. Unfortunately, no one is quite sure where Sinema stands because she’s too busy cosplaying Ted Lasso scenes with Mitt Romney to tell us.
Grab your favorite barf receptacle, folks. And be warned. This is a double-bagger:
You’re singlehandedly nuking the dreams of millions of children, working women, and impoverished Americans while fucking the planet with a titanium dildo and making the return of Donald Trump, a proven fascist, far more likely. Here, have a biscuit!
Actually, Mitt’s gift is perfect, because I suspect Sinema could be bought off for even less. Do we know there are actual biscuits in that box, or is it the secret password to Mitch McConnell’s volcano lair?
Needless to say, Twitter was hardly amused:
It appears Mitt Romney finally has his binder full of women—er, woman.
Of course, after Donald Trump establishes his long-sought-after thousand-year reich, I doubt this will be quite as cute as these sulfuric popcorn farts seem to think it is. I hope my forced-labor camp has Wi-Fi because I really want to see the look on both of their faces when America finally gurgles its last breath.
It made comedian Sarah Silverman say, “THIS IS FUCKING BRILLIANT,” and prompted author Stephen King to shout “Pulitzer Prize!!!” (on Twitter, that is). What is it? The viral letter that launched four hilarious Trump-trolling books. Get them all, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.