It’s hard to know who comes off as flakier in the following clip—Pillow Man Mike Lindell or War Room host Steve Bannon, whose “personal style” makes him look like a remaindered Costco pot pie.
Of course, nothing has been able to shake Lindell’s faith in his theory that China stole the 2020 election from Donald Trump—not the official certified results, not the failed Arizona fraudit, not even the fact that Georgia election officials hand-counted every last ballot in the state.
None of it is as convincing to the Pillow Man as his own technicolor brain farts. And now? Well, you really have to see this to believe it.
LINDELL: “But I still believe Fox said, ‘Hey, come and sue us quick so we can fire Lou Dobbs and make it look like that’s a reason we can’t talk ...”
BANNON: “Whoa, whoa, whoa, you’re going pure conspiracy theory. No, no, no, you’re not going to go, tell me about this now? You think they actually invited the lawsuit so they could get rid of the great Lou Dobbs?”
LINDELL: “I think they invited the lawsuit, Steve, because I think that that way they didn’t have to bring anybody on. They already, after Nov. 3, nobody, after they called Arizona early, they didn’t talk about the election. You go back in time and you can’t find them talking about the election. They were too busy talking about Hunter Biden’s laptop after the fact. I believe, because they were sued by Smartmatic, which kind of was weird, and then all of a sudden they invited Dominion and fired Lou Dobbs the next day, or whatever it was, and then nobody could go on Fox anymore and talk about the 2020 election. It’s a good excuse for Fox. ‘We’re not going to talk about it.’ But, boy, they stuck their nose up the other day with Arizona on Fox. They go, ‘You know what, looks like it was all good. Biden won.’ No he didn’t.”
Wow. Okay. You know, it’s a pretty bad look when Steve Effing Bannon thinks your conspiracy theories are a bit too out there.
So in this telling, Fox News deliberately invited a $1.6 billion lawsuit so it could can one of its longest-tenured and highest-rated business hosts. Sounds perfectly plausible—except for the fact that Fox fired Dobbs in early February and Dominion didn’t sue the network until late-March. But other than that, the chronology lines up perfectly! Psst, Mike! You should spend another few million investigating this. What possible downside could there be?
Also, Fox never talked about the election after Nov. 3? I’m pretty sure they did. That said, if I’m going to go back in time, it won’t be to watch Fox News. It will be to send an increasingly opaque series of Nigerian prince emails to a young Mike Lindell.
Though, come to think of it, my window on that opportunity has likely not fully closed. And if it has, I can always try selling him a pouch of magic beans that give you the power to see bamboo-tainted ballots through thick lead doors.
Just call him Stupor Man. I mean, it fits, right?
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