Stew Peters is a seriously weird dude whom I’d be blissfully unaware of were it not for his regular slot on Pillow Man Mike Lindell’s sprawling vomit trough of a website, Frankspeech.com.
DeAnna Lorraine is a prominent QAnon adherent who … well, that’s pretty much all you really need to know about her, n'est-ce pas? On the Dec. 7 edition of Peters’ show, these two rarefied minds worked together to solve a mystery for the ages: Why do anti-vaxx Republicans keep getting sick from COVID-19?
But first, Peters had to crank his own persecution complex up to 11.
PETERS: “I wouldn’t be surprised if this so-called cold, the virus flu that I have right now, was a targeted attack on me. Do you speculate that some of that might be going on as well?”
LORRAINE: “A targeted attack?”
PETERS: “Yeah, I mean, absolutely. Like the bioweapon being released on you. This sociopath Tony Fauci, when he chimerically engineered this taxpayer-funded, lab-originated, intentionally released Wuhan, China, virus. I mean, that could probably be used against people automatically. I mean, people—Republicans, conservatives, talk show hosts—people being targeted with this virus. Don’t you think, so they can paint this picture of, ‘Oh, Stew Peters got the coronavirus. He did it to himself because he’s not vaccinated.”
LORRAINE: “Exactly. No, 100%. We talked about last week with the World Economic Forum launching this bubble gun, that you can just point a gun basically and someone gets a vaccine. I’m sure that they have the power to target somebody to get COVID. All the very prominent Republicans and people who have been outspoken against vaccines—pastors, etc.—suddenly they come down with a bad case of COVID and it makes the news: ‘Anti-vaxxer, anti-masker pastor comes down with COVID.’ It’s all too suspicious, and I absolutely think people are being targeted.”
PETERS: “Well, they’re going to have to try harder than this, because this thing, whatever I have, is weak as hell. … I got a little bit of a stuffy nose now and a little bit of a scratchy throat. Whoop-dee-doo.”
Listen, Stew. I got the skinny directly from George Soros, and he told me that if he’s gonna inject you with a virus, you’ll goddamn know it! You won’t have a scratchy throat, you’ll be crouched in the middle of Times Square shitting your goofy eyeballs down a storm sewer, because that’s how the Illuminati rolls, yo. Pfft. Like we Democrats spent decades reverse-engineering this bubble gun from Roswell crash site wreckage just so we could give you a fucking cold. Dream on, dude. When I heard you say that, I almost snorted baby’s blood through my nose, I was laughing so hard.
But my very favorite is the bit where Lorraine wonders aloud why so many prominent anti-vaxx Republicans are getting COVID-19. Yup, that is a puzzler. Unfortunately, I converted my thinking cap to a useless face mask months ago at the behest of Anthony Fauci, and I simply can’t come up with any reason for why that would be. It shall remain a mystery.
I really don’t know what to do with these people anymore, other than avoid them. And for once I have a great excuse to do just that! The fact that they’ll never acknowledge the legitimacy of that excuse hardly fazes me.
At this point, no matter how many booster shots I get, there’s little that will bring me back to their kooky rookeries for drinks, merriment, and fellowship. That ship has sailed—and sunk.
So enjoy yourselves, anti-vaxxers. For as long as you can, that is. I’ll be over here, just trying to live. And laughing my ass off at you fools, of course.
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