Honestly, I don’t want right-wing COVID deniers and anti-vaxxers to die. I just want them to learn a lesson. Apparently, that lesson has to be learned one gormless goober at a time.
Of course, it would be easy enough to look at the past year, with its overflowing hospitals, long-haul COVID sufferers, spate of untimely deaths, etc., and learn a valuable, potentially lifesaving lesson—i.e., that if Jesus actually had the ability or inclination to save you from coronavirus, don’t you think he would have stopped Tom Hanks from getting it? Who the fuck are you, dude? You think Jesus cares more about your dumb ass than Tom Hanks’ universally loved and respected Oscar-winning ass? Even if he’d stopped at Bachelor Party he’d still have more value than your dumb TruckNutz-festooning arse.
And why the fuck did Trump get COVID? Hey, I know why he got it. COVID couldn’t resist. COVID saw that hog shit lagoon full of comorbidities and it was like ringing the dinner bell at summer COVID camp. But you’d think Jesus would try to protect his chosen one, no?
Honestly, I’m starting to think Jesus has nothing to do with any of this.
So you know what’s coming, right? It’s the oldest COVID story in the book: Dumbass flouts CDC guidance and best practices and ends up with his sphincter in a sling.
Newsweek:
Conservative pastor Rick Wiles has apparently fallen ill with COVID-19 after condemning the vaccines that fight the disease, baselessly claiming they're being used to carry out a "global genocide."
Wiles—the founder of the conspiracy-promoting TruNews website and the senior pastor of Flowing Streams Church in Florida—asserted on this show in late April that he would not get vaccinated against COVID-19 and would survive the "global genocide."
"I am not going to be vaccinated," he said. "I'm going to be one of the survivors. I'm going to survive the genocide.”
D’oh!
WILES: “I am not going to be vaccinated. I’m going to be one of the survivors. I’m going to survive the genocide. … I am not going to allow the COVID maniacs to convince me to be vaccinated or vaccinate me against my will. I know what I’m reading, I know what I’m seeing. There is a mass death campaign underway right now. I don’t care what people, they can write any article they want to write about me, they can do everything they can to deplatform me. I am going to survive a global genocide. The only good thing that will come out of this is a lot of stupid people will be killed off.”
And … scene.
Now, that’s a pretty ironic statement right there, but it gets ironic-er—because Wiles’ church is now apparently ground zero of a new COVID outbreak, and they’re asking for prayers. (I pray these dumbfucks get the vaccine, but that’s as far as I’ll go with it.)
In a recent Gab post (I’m not sure what Gab is, but I understand it’s favored by people like Wiles), TruNews, a Rick Wiles joint, announced that "Flowing Streams is experiencing a sudden cluster of flu and Covid among some employees and their relatives. Rick Wiles made the decision tonight to close the offices and studios until a TBA date next week. Our team needs to tend to sick family members. Please pray for your TruNews team."
After that post, TruNews followed up: “URGENT REQUEST - please be praying for Rick Wiles right now. Please repost so that there's an army of people praying."
Oh, but our story isn’t over yet. In a Saturday email to supporters, Flowing Streams VP Raymond Burkhart stated, “Rick is very much in need of your continued prayers. Today, he was taken to the emergency room, and under medical advice, was admitted to the hospital. He is currently on oxygen and is expected to remain there for a number of days.”
But thank God Wiles isn’t stupid or he might really be in trouble.
Maybe he’ll turn his verbal diarrhea firehose off after this—assuming he survives. But I don’t have much faith in Jesus’ ability to stop this pandemic, so imagine how little I have in Wiles’ ability to see reason.