Energize An Ally Tuesday
One week from today, voting ends for the runoff election in Georgia. If you’re going to make a donation to Senator Raphael Warnock, do it today. Otherwise, guess who could be the next senator from the Peach State? Some guy named E.M. Barrassment...
For the next seven days the Warnock campaign will be running on all cylinders, and that takes money and people power. Early voting info is here, and If you can shake a few more coins from your couch cushions, the ActBlue link is here. If he wins, we get 51 votes and an outright majority in the Senate, and Walker gets to go back to Werewolf Academy. Win-win. Let’s do it.
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, November 29, 2022
Note: We hope you had a nice Thanksgiving. If, instead, you had a terrible one, you'll be pleased to know that the C&J Memory Eraser 5000 is back in service. Just insert 5,000 quarters and push your “ESC” button. We’d tell you what happens next, but our legal team says that’s proprietary information. (But you will want to wear a blast helmet and disable your smoke detectors for a moment.) —Mgt.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the next full "cold moon": 9
Days 'til the first annual Keo Pecan Festival in Arkansas: 4
Estimated online sales during Black Friday, a new record high according to CNBC: $9.2 billion
The last year that the mortgage delinquency rate was as low as it is now: 1979
Percent of American adults polled earlier this month by Gallup who support marijuana legalization: 68%
Years it took for the first 21 states to legalize pot: 10
Amount James Cameron's Avatar sequel, opening Dec. 16, needs to make in order to break even, according to CNN: $2 billion
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Puppy Pic of the Day: And the winner is…
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CHEERS to Dems in the opposite of disarray. I'm so old that I remember when I was so young that I thought Nancy Pelosi and the current Democratic House leadership would be in place even after they "technically" died and their heads were placed in jars of re-animator fluid so they could continue issuing orders (although, admittedly, they'd need help banging their gavels) forever. [Sigh.] Sadly, the science isn’t quite there yet, so a passing of the diamond-encrusted lapel pins is necessary. If you were itchin' for a brawl, I'm happy to disappoint you…
Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s departure from leadership could easily have led to a power vacuum in which a host of ambitious lawmakers—old and young—publicly battled it out for the chance to lead House Democrats.
Instead, a new generation—Reps. Hakeem Jeffries, 52, of New York; Katherine Clark, 59, of Massachusetts; and Pete Aguilar, 43, of California—will almost certainly be elected to the top three leadership slots this week without a challenge or much fanfare.
[B] y and large, Pelosi and her almost-certain successor, Jeffries, have been able to orchestrate a smooth passing of the torch from one generation to the next.
House Republicans, meanwhile, are fighting like mad dogs to establish their leadership hierarchy. So far it looks like the pro-Russia stooges have a slight edge over the Nazis, the Flat Earthers, the debt ceiling anarchists, and the sex traffickers. This could change at the last minute as they are all gun nuts.
CHEERS to bulls in a China shop. Authoritarian dicktator governments are not having much fun these days. That idiot in Brazil got booted. Iran's mullahs are the target of mass protests by women sick of being controlled right down to their hairstyles. Russia is facing a mass exodus of citizens with functioning brains as its genocide against Ukraine drags on. Here in the U.S., those who dream of an all-powerful Emperor Trump just got their heads handed to them in the midterms. And in China protests are erupting over Covid restrictions (that include locking people in their living spaces) and…well, the usual litany of other restrictions China is known for. Here's the scene a couple nights ago in Wuhan:
Or as Fox News reported it: Antifa invades Seattle!
CHEERS to famous firsts. On November 29, 1929 Commander Richard Byrd became the first non-bird to fly over the South Pole. A friend of mine did that, too. Then the weed wore off and he realized he was still in his mom's basement.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to a place of their own. On this date in 1947—despite strong Arab opposition—the U.N. General Assembly voted for the partition of Palestine and the creation of an independent Jewish state. Aside from the decades of bombs and violence and starvation and human rights abuses and terrorism and suspicion and hatred, it's going rather well, don't you think?
CHEERS to C&J's Joke Of The Day. This one is so hot it’s ripped from the latest headlines: A deranged neo-Nazi, a raging anti-Semite, and an insurrectionist walk into the dining room at Mar-a-Lago for dinner. The server walks over to the table and says, "Good evening, Mr. Trump, will anyone be joining you this evening?"
I’ll show myself out.
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Ten years ago in C&J: November 29, 2012
JEERS to a “troubled” Maineiac. Yesterday sensible moderate Republican Senator Susan Collins met for 90 minutes with U.N. Ambassador Dr. Susan Rice to get answers about the bullshit Benghazi non-scandal, and emerged with her hair on fire and screaming about something that happened in Africa nearly 15 years and two administrations ago that has never been brought up before. Today Republicans will accuse Rice of botching the charge of the Light Brigade, directing Ishtar, marketing New Coke, and drawing outside the lines in kindergarten. Because they're very serious.
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And just one more…
UGH to 26 more days of 24/7 wassailing. Right on cue...as soon as the clock struck midnight on Thanksgiving, satellites began piping holiday music directly into our brains. (Pa rump ‘a pum pum...ha ha ha I said rump!) But C&J wonders: why aren't they playing Hanukkah Hits or Kwanzaa Karols? Probably because it’s so hard to squeeze ‘em in between the Christmas tunes and the retailers’ perennial chart-topper: The Ch’ ching Ch’ ching Chorus.
Have a tolerable Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
“There are a lot of reasons to be against Bill in Portland Maine but the one I’m hearing now as I call around the country talking to kiddie pool splashers is the number of people who have just switched him off in their brain.”
—John Bolton
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