Scientists Have Designed a ‘Vagina on a Chip’

The subject upon which I write today

Is worthy of a longer and more scholarly tome

But I don’t write for a respected medical journal

(And by objective standards this is barely a poem.)

I approach this matter with some trepidation

Light verse might not set the appropriate tone

But we can’t win the war against bacterial vaginosis

Without further study of the vaginal biome.

The headline that recently caught my eye

“Scientists Have Designed a Vagina on a Chip”

Lead me to read an article detailing recent advances

Researchers hope will reduce the itch and the drip.

Preterm birth and low birth weight are serious consequences

That could stem from bacterial vaginosis

So pay attention when, your OBGYN

Begs for better remedies to employ post diagnosis.

Gut biome researchers have been basking in the limelight

Big grant money gets bestowed from the mouth through the anus

This unfair distribution of research funding

Is an injustice that the “V-team” thinks should pain us.

Per Harvard bio-engineer, Dr. Don Ingber,

Who’s known for modeling human organs on stick-of-gum sized chips

The chip “...walks,talks, quacks like a human vagina”

(I suspect the Audubon Society should ban him from future field trips).

The vaginas of healthy humans contain 70% lactobacilli

A fact of greater import than just trivia fun

It means that animal studies aren’t all that useful

Since their lactobacilli percentages top out at one.

In summary, this is but one small step for Man

If I correctly understand the explanation they gave

But a giant leap for in vitro vaginal modeling

Debunking myths from previous spelunking, most peer reviewers rave.