What can you say about a party that ferociously defends kids against cloth face masks, drag queens, and Pulitzer Prize-winning novels, but remains unruffled in the face of serial mass murders of children? You might say that party isn’t interested in protecting kids so much as exploiting them for votes.
Over and over again, Republicans telegraph their distaste for actual governing by picking silly fights over picayune issues like whether 7-year-olds should learn about the existence of gay people in school or, like most of us of a certain age did, from watching Paul Lynde slay on Hollywood Squares. And yet when it’s time to really step up for children’s welfare, folks like North Dakota Sen. Kevin Cramer are clearly more interested in scoring political points than making a difference.
On Tuesday, Cramer went out of his way to reassure America’s sprawling Heaven’s Gat cult that all this talk about gun safety is so much hot air. While discussing red flag laws, which allow judges to take guns from people who are deemed an immediate danger to themselves or others, Cramer was predictably dismissive. Such laws are currently a point of contention in the Senate’s negotiations over a proposed gun safety bill.
“We aren't going to pass a federal red flag law, and we shouldn't,” said Cramer. “So why would we incentivize states to do something that we think is a bad idea? There is some confusion about what it actually does and that is what they are trying to clarify.” And then he got downright ghoulish: “I think we are more interested in red waves than we are in red flags, quite honestly, as Republicans, and we have a good opportunity to do that.”
Yeah, I’ll bet he’s more interested in red waves—like in the elevator scene in The Shining.
And if that wasn’t bad enough, here’s yet another caca canapé to amuse your palate. Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton—who, incidentally, has been under felony indictment for seven effing years—appears willing to let go and let God … stand by and watch the slaughter:
Paxton, who took the leading role in a failed Supreme Court case aimed at overturning the results of the 2020 election, went on a media blitz to fight calls for gun restrictions shortly after an 18-year-old shooter killed 19 children and two teachers at Robb Elementary School in the West Texas town of Uvalde.
In an interview with right-wing radio host Trey Graham, Paxton acknowledged that it is "difficult to give comfort" to families who lost their kids. "If I lost one of my children I'd be pretty devastated, especially in a way that is so senseless and seemingly has no purpose," he continued. "I think ... I would just have to say, if I had the opportunity to talk to the people I'd have to say, look, there's always a plan. I believe God always has a plan. Life is short no matter what it is. And certainly, we're not going to make sense of, you know, a young child being shot and killed way before their life expectancy."
“God always has a plan,” and that plan occasionally involves 8-year-olds getting ripped to shreds by assault rifles. No biggie. Maybe, at least in this case, God needs to go back to the drawing board, because this is no minor fuckup like putting a duck’s bill on a mammal or deciding to give me a head the size of a Fiat. Of course, while Paxton spit up all the usual bromides about senseless killings and the emotional devastation they visit on families, he couldn’t stop himself from sounding like an insurance adjustor reading from the latest actuarial tables. Yes, Ken, they were killed way before their life expectancies. Now let’s calculate the number of years of life lost against the number of votes Republicans can expect to glean from barking-mad gun fetishists to see if new legislation is warranted. Nope, not yet. Looks like they’re sticking with the risible bullshit.
It’s nice that the Senate appears poised to pass something in response to the Uvalde, Texas, school shooting, but you can bet that even these half-measures will be opposed by a robust number of rock-ribbed Republicans. But I’m comforted in knowing that God has a plan. I just wish that plan involved a real miracle, like Republicans finally getting serious about the health and well-being of their constituents.
Check out Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s four-volume Trump-trashing compendium, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.