CW: i am mad as hell and you will listen to me talk straight for a hot minute if you read this and i will say what comes to my mind with no filter. And i am not sorry. There are things that need to be said in the room. We’re going to have a little Texas football style half-time talk, me and the players.
I used to write words for Matthew McConaughey to say, but I think I’m gonna ask his tool pusher brother Rooster to read this one into a microphone. He could do it more justice. Or Kris, if he were up to it. Maybe Slim Pickens, or LQ Jones who we just lost, damn it to hell, but as you can all clearly see the “good actors” are hard to find off the range these days. Someone who knows how to properly cuss a pissant up one side of the lariat, around the dally and back down the the squalling calf on the ground.
Please do pardon me, this endeavor is DARK and then it gets DARKER and it's affecting me emotionally HARD. I won't say i am sorry but i will try to be somewhat civil.
Half of this you have already heard, and all of it might just need to hear twice. I said 1500 choice words and some of them just might not be too choice at all. So you're just gonna have to bear with me.
I’m about to lose my religion, you may not want to see that, and “some things are best left unspoken some things are better left unsaid, but since this is your public execution I’m just gonna go right on ahead.“
If this diary gets me banned then piss on you, I’ve worked for Mel Brooks. This is no conspiracy theory. It’s about the LACK of any two knuckleheads in this entire state to rub their sorry heads together and come up with a single spark of useful action in the wake of what happened in Uvalde. Sit down strap up, settle in. Keep your helmets on because I might just knock a few heads together yet. It’s locker room talk the way it ought to be. Not by some New York City candy-ass about p*ssies but about dignified human beings and how we are supposed to act like little ladies and gentlemen on the gridiron and off, from the Rio Bravo to the muddy muddy Red River where I was baptized.
And while we are here, bear in mind:
Not one LEO has resigned from Uvalde PD, CISD cops, University police, no constable, Sheriff's deputy from two counties, several elected sheriffs themselves, Abbott's private army the DPS, TX Rangers, no DEA, DHS, US Marshal, Border Patrol, nor the Game Warden, who yes, was there.
That’s right, the godd*mned GAME WARDEN was there. So we KNOW there was at least one person there who knew or should have known, and cared for innocent creatures. And how too few good men many did god ask us to find before he wiped Sodom and Gomorrah off the plate and into the hog slop?
Not one has resigned and I won’t use the word officer or man. Or person. YOU HAVEN’T EARNED IT, as Rip Torn would tell you were he here. He’s similarly unavailable and maybe that, there is just the problem. But his cousin Sissy Spacek would back him with telekinesis and a whole gymnasium of your blood, too if she needed to. I happen to know her and she is good as gold and you WILL mind yourself in her presence. I can guarantee-d*mn-tee it.
LEO. That must stand for Losers, Everlasting One.
None fired nor charged. None. That means this many. And those of you who cannot see can just know how many fingers I am holding up with my fist in the air.
Buffer that thought then get the lights and the 16mm projector because were gonna do this.
We’re just gonna watch that video again
and again and again until there are no further questions.
Then we can talk about cookie monster-sounding heavy metal songs and doorways and latches and helmets and lions and tigers and bears, oh my, and the stinky, stinky pigs. And Tigger, and Toto and Piglet too.
and oh, me droogs and droogies I AM JUST GETTING STARTED HERE, saddle pals.
This lariat is rawhide braided and it will cast out a hundred feet and it carries a big crinoline loop. It will heal you ass to town and you will sit and you will listen and you ill behave. Or I will know the reason why, and you will know the wrath of my sainted mother and a snapping turtle combined.
As Willie Nelson once told me, "What do you call a thousand lawyers at the bottom of Lady Bird Lake?"
"A good start."
You think you know how mad I am this time, maybe you have seen me mad before but what you know wouldn't fill a hen’s ear. Now that I have SOME of y’alls attention. Your coach has a few things to say.
i could begin any discussion on this topic by saying, only somewhat sarcastically that we seem ONLY to know what DPS wants us to know, and who the Sam Hell put them in charge or telling the public what "the on scene commander" Pete Arredondo was in complete and total command of? (To hear the DPS tell it.) Shouldn't the almighty ever-loving Chief of the School Crossing Guards and Police be giving the official press briefing and conducting the investigation and issuing the blue ribbon report here? Since everything is his responsibility and he was the one who gave al the orders, shouldn't we have a clear record of all his communications with a time stamp and a recorded audio file that would be easily made public in the first week after the shooting in an Open Records state like Texas, where the shooter was deceased and the district attn'y was ready to announce that there were no reasons to charge any officer with wrongdoing?
And shouldn't the Federal government's responding agencies such as the US Marshals, the Border Patrol the DEA, and the postmaster general of Crystal frickin’ City, Brackettville and Del Rio and oh yeah, the special unit called BORTAC be fully and transparently briefing the public on their actions and involvement, giving out transcripts of the radio traffic and time stamps and locations of all officers who called in or out to assemble their squad? Don't they want the public to know how well they responded to a crisis, and bravely "stacked" and "breached," and "neutralized" the "active shooter?"
That’ll be the day.
Seriously, what sort of flim-flam bullsh*t factory third rate gypsy-dildo medicine show world’s largest hairball magic act/ carnival barkers spokesmodels do they expect us to look at next with a straight face while they lie, obfuscate, delay, stall, spin and generally stonewall the parents and the public here?
I just last week watched Greg Abbott broadcast from a BROOM CLOSET saying to the bubble headed bleach blonde from lake loser on the ten o'clock nudes that he was IN Uvalde. He spoke to NO ONE on the street and answered not one question from any reporter or child. And it was a F&&&ing Joke. And it still is, and an insult to every living creature in Barton Springs and on top of the Davis Mountains to have to hear it, too. It made my cat puke, much less me. His lies would choke a dog off the gut-wagon. And have. Just now, he hasn't stopped bless his spotted head. The cats drug it up and even the hogs won’t eat it. I honestly cannot say I’ve seen worse and I’ve seen plenty in my time, i’ve been to Matamores and Boys Town, ro Pedras Negras where there is a drain in the floor at the base of the bar, and you dont go in there unless you know what that is for, and i’ve been to the Cloakroom and the Texas Chili parlor on NRA Lobbyist night, too and I’ve seen some rude and crude behavior, trust me you don’t want to know what goes on behind the Chain Drive after the afterparty and before the sun comes up over Waller creek. This boys can stay outta the pool hall and my picture show from now on.
What, besides hitting UPLOAD to YouTube and a google docs page kept the parents and the public and all the good teachers and school librarians, their at-risk pupils and that is all of them, plus all our exes who live in Texas and the great gazzoo too and Davy Crocket in his tomb over to old San Antone, and Bob Wills up in Austin in his, every man, woman, child, intersexual being and in-transition personage, and slave, let’s go ahead and add because there are likely some left it is so obviously corrupt here, from seeing every scrap of video or transcript or duty roster, piece of toilet paper stuck to a show, and on down to the receipt for hand sanitizer that is currently held back for any reason whatsoever on God’s green earth and Buddy Holly’s beloved and arid, dry Texas?
If there is a pile of players in the dirt and a pigskin has gone missing, ROLL THE PLAYBACK. This ain’t Nashville, this is DALLAS. Y’all need to cowboy up. It’s TC roundup time in Texas. If you KNOW you do not belong here I would advise you to steal a horse and leave town and to steal a fast one, too because we still hang horse thieves around here. And I'm looking right at some of these ones over there. They know who they are by Gawd. Let’s just talk about that one.
What stops any and-or-all 376 responding LEOs and their equally dithering, equally worthless but supremely more chain-of-command responsible, and utterly un-credible bosses from keeping the public informed in a transparent and timely fashion? What the actual tee-total, tee-tot F*CK are we waiting for? And what gives them the right to even pretend to say so?
Excuses will not cut it in this outfit. Not now, not ever. Not while I can still draw breath and kick your sorry asses up and down this hallway. Metaphorcaly speaing of course. We are all avowed pacifists here. In fact, I’m a Quaker, just like Nixon. So you know I am sincere about that last part.
(“Do you ladies call this football?” usually comes in around here but we will dispense with that and move on to the good gravy-covered courses next. Save room for dessert. It’s pecan pie with Bluebell and we will all, all someday walk the cow on THAT yellow carton in fields of clover. )
Can someone please explain to me one thing. Why are there not 376 resignations letters piled up on EMPTY desks in an archipelago you could walk a tame jackass across west Texas to Austin on, ending on the buck stops and the bullshit starts desk in the stinky Mansion next to the big pink granite Capitol that prisoners, scabs and the good people of the state of Texas built to keep this sort of evil, foolishness and utter and complete horse-crap from occurring here on a daily, weekly and out monthly basis?
Why has the congressional representative from the district been kept 100% out of the loop at every juncture, each step of the way? Why is he filing lawsuits to get basic public records in an open records state?
Why are the parents being held back from the plain and simple truth just like they were held back from protecting their offspring with handcuffs, federal officers and Tasers? AND LIES about DOING YOUR JOB at all, ever mister big ol’ tough lawman?
WHY DO WE HAVE COPS AT ALL? I’d like an answer from the BACK of the room this time. And the back of the bus. And the back of the immigration detention center where the kids still rot in cages. If it’s not too much trouble. I’m willing to wait for that one.
And if the parents who were being held back were trying to prevent an ONGOING mass murder, aren't the cops who held them back Accessories to that Murder? Where are the charges? PUT THEM IN HANDCUFFS and sort it out in the court before a JURY OF THEIR TOWNSPEOPLE. Peers is too good of a word to use here above ground. Which is just maybe just maybe NOT where some people deserve to be, if i had my druthers about now and the courts worked like they might ought to, or anyone there that day had one shred of personal honor left, and a shotgun at home to go suck on.
And if Greg Abbot and his lapdog deputy dog the DPS spokes-lair McCraw who is nothing BUT Abbot's PAID POLITICAL APPOINTED OPERATIVE, and Ken "I'm already indicted for corruption" Paxton, and assorted other sorry as sh*t motherf*ckers in supposed authority here, with NO CREDIBILITY displayed whatsoever, from Day One to Right f*cking now, down to the meter maid in Crystal City of necessary, and the shovel leaning highway asphalt striping squad have shat on us long enough already, lying, censoring, spinning, obfuscating, stalling and stonewalling like they breathe the fires of satan and his forked red and tight little ass as though it were their mother's milk, isn't it time they too were charged, arrested, hogtied and jailed, in the proverbial basement of the Alamo where cowards and bike thieves dwell, interrogated fairly by a committee of the community, advised by the paltry few brave and decent survivors, and provided with transcript of their signed confessions, given a good lawyer, hell give them Clarence Darrow, Racehorse Haynes and Johnnie Cochran too, I don’t give a hoot, and then tried by the GOOD people of Texas under a fine and strong oak tree for obstructing justice, too?