This is a work of fiction with snark and some factual information. If you don’t like this type of diary, please don’t read it. I write to express my fears as well as my hope for our democracy. And, to make myself feel better. Writers always take a risk when they write a different type of piece, but this was very cathartic and enjoyable for me. Hope you like it!
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I had just read Mark Sumner’s diary about the postponement of Putin’s speech until today. And, after dinner, I slept for a few hours and had this frightening dream that Vladie Putin was waiting for Dumpty Trumpy to stand by him while he made his speech about partial mobilization in Ukraine, blasted the United States for preserving global domination, and threatened using nuclear weapons. Trump’s presence and support would change the entire focus of the coverage. It would be less about Putin’s treachery, violence, threats, and assault against Ukrainian democracy and its people, and more about former president Trump’s support, the dystopian QAdonny’s (members of the cult), and the impact on the American experiment in democracy.
While I slept, I imagined an entire scenario in which Trump invited his QAdon followers to join him at the Orlando International Airport, and fly in a fleet of jets (only one would be painted as a mock Air Force One) to Moscow along with lackey Lindsey Graham and extremist Marjorie Taylor Greene. While Trump demeans women, MTG is a prolific fundraiser and very popular with QAnon quacks.
As Toadie Tucker Carlson reported, “Our fearless leader President Donald J. Trump (While Carlson knows Trump lost the election, Trump elevated Carlson to his current popularity) believes that actions speak louder than words.” (That makes sense since Trump used all the words he knew during his first few hours in office). And, for that reason, he and his patriotic followers (who are pro-Russian and anti-American) are going to Moscow to listen to President Vladimir Putin’s historic speech about the unification of the Soviet Union. (Putin actually wants to annex Russian-held parts of Ukraine as he did with Crimea, and will lie that Ukrainian peoples’ votes support this, even though they are voting while being occupied.)
With crocodile tears in his eyes (They were tears of relief since Tuck the Schmuck was not going on this trip because he is happy to travel to communist countries and deify their oppressive leaders, but, he’s not willing to put himself in danger), Tucker reported that “President Trump was perfectly attired as the Commander in Chief of this mission. (Actually, he was emulating the former QAnon shaman Jacob Chansley, who is currently in jail for 41 months for participating in the Insurrection.) But, according to Carlson, “Trump was gallantly carrying his golf club (instead of a spear), he wore a horned fur hat (which covered his Pompadour), and his face paint was Pantone perfection in different shades of orange. Trump was resplendent in his tailored blue suit, white shirt, and red tie1 with his five-star general medals.”2
Then, Tucker the fu*ker seemlessly lied about Trump’s speech to his QAdonnys. “Before the jets took off, the President gave a stirring speech about Putin’s genius (Trump actually complained once again about how the 2020 election was stolen from him, and that every single lawsuit against him is a partisan hatchet job, and has no basis), and then he lied in great detail about how he would have gotten far better seats at Queen Elizabeth’s funeral than the Biden’s did because he and Queen Elizabeth liked each other so much.) In closing, Tucker the truthless said, “President Trump extolled the very close relationship he’s always had with President Putin (Trump has had a morally questionable relationship with Putin and Russia for three decades), and how important it is for the prosperity and safety of our country.” (The only value in any of Trump’s relationships is financial gain and branding for Trump, and had Mueller pursued money-laundering, Trump probably would have been in jail before he could have staged the Insurrection and coup.)
Someone who saw Trump’s airport speech said his final quote to the QAdonnys was: “President Putin is going to force Ukrainians into submission. His final act will be a magnificent show of power, and they will either bend to his will or die. Putin and I have shared values, which are solidly based on MAaGA, which he’ll support when I become President in 2024.” When Trump finished speaking, there was a standing ovation, cheering, and clapping. It helped that everyone was schnockered. And, when staff members passed out new MAaGA caps, they cheered longer. Since QAdonnys aren’t known for their intellect, none of them noticed the addition of a lower case “a,” and the new slogan, “MAaGA: Make America a Great Autocracy.”
Less than an hour after take-off, the jet carrying Trump, Lindsey Graham, Marjorie Taylor Greene, and Trump’s Secret Service detail left the fleet, and returned to the Orlando International Airport. No one in the other jets noticed because there was free liquor and food that they had paid for when they bought their tickets.
This time, Trump didn’t have to fight with his Secret Service Detail to abandon his followers.That had been his plan all along. Even Trump knew that Vlad’s soldiers had committed such heinous atrocities and war crimes that he would surely go on trial in front of the Hague Tribunal. As a sociopath, Trump envied Putin for directing unspeakable acts that normal people couldn’t imagine. As the narcissist, street fighter, bully, and litigious criminal he is, Trump knew that the optics of supporting Vladie in person wasn’t going to help Trump with his legal problems or with the press, no matter how many lies they allowed him to tell without challenging him.
Sure, Vladie initially was pissed because he had postponed his speech for Trump’s arrival. But, once Trump convinced Vladie that the optics of parading all the American QAdonnys with their diabolical beliefs, extremist behavior, loathsome rhetoric, and terrible sense of style and decorum, was the perfect way to show Putin’s strengths, and constrast it to the moral decay the Republican Party has instilled in their constituents, and promoted for decades, he knew Trump was right and congratulated him.
And, for the entire 12-hour trip home, Trump basked in Putin’s praise like the love-starved child and adult he’s been for 76 years. His behavior of watching the news on multiple channels as he constantly ate cheeseburgers and drank Diet Cokes didn’t change, but he felt the warm glow of love from his favorite dictator surge within his loins.
After the jet landed, as Trump, Graham, and Greene started to exit the plane, suddenly a bevy of FBI vehicles and agents seemingly appeared out of nowhere. Evidently, the DOJ, NSC, and FBI took a dim view of Trump’s sending American citizens—no matter how vile they are—to participate in a foreign dictator’s propaganda campaign against the United States, and Ukraine. And, when the QAdonnys arrived in Moscow and learned that Trump had bailed at the beginning of their journey, after tormenting the few staff members accompanying each plane, they had begun blasting him online, and calling their elected representatives and senators, who alerted President Biden, who contacted the appropriate agencies, and these Trump loyalists began squealing nonstop for hours.
While Trump was too stunned to process why the FBI was there, and what was happening, suddenly, despite all the noise, he could hear Lindsey Graham and Marjorie Taylor Greene hysterically screaming and crying on their cell phones, and physically distancing themselves from him.
Hours later, there was a news report that Trump had collapsed and been hospitalized because he'd had a mental breakdown, which his niece Mary had predicted. From the beginning of his decline, Trump seemingly was abandoned by his wife and children; the January 6th Committee had to immediately hire more staff to handle all of the testimonies that former allies were providing; Mitch McConnell was frequently seen smiling and whistling aloud; Kevin McCarthy had disappeared from sight; Jim Jordan and Marjorie Taylor Greene were completely silent, and lawyering up; the RNC had immediately stopped paying Trump's legal fees; his attorneys frantically were trying to confirm how they would be paid; Allen Weiselberg, Trump’s and his father’s long-term fixer was in Rikers for five months; and Lindsey Graham had taken a leave of absence from the Senate to receive psychiatric help at home. Who knew that a lack of a soul was listed in the The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders?
I don’t believe I’m allowed to tell you what happened to Vladimir Putin. Suffice it to say that karma can be a wonderful or terrible thing, and he got his. And, I awakened completely refreshed from my nap, totally relaxed for the first time in months, began writing about my dream, and checking out where my skills can best be utilized for the 2022 election.
1There is no Commander-in-Chief uniform since the president is a civilian. 2Since WWII, there have not been any 5-Star General medals granted to anyone in the military.