Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, September 22, 2022
Note: My dead grandma woke me up in the middle of the night. I asked if she was here because she wanted me to come into the light. She said no no no no no because if we think inflation is bad here, you should see how God is fucking things up on the other side. Total incompetence. No plan...just bussing Satanists seeking asylum back to Hell to please the base as a distraction. Nope—Grams just wanted to borrow some mayonnaise. How was your night?
By the Numbers:
Days 'til the next House Jan. 6 Committee hearing: 6
Days 'til the Tulsa State Fair: 7
Number of consecutive days gas prices fell in the U.S. before rising a tad on Tuesday: 97
Number of people indicted by the DOJ for stealing $240 million from pandemic aid programs intended to feed children in Minnesota: 44
Percent chance that Judge Florence Pan is now the first Taiwanese-American ever to serve on the all-important D.C. Circuit Court of Appeals after she was confirmed by the Senate this week: 100%
Percent of Mainers without health insurance in 2013, when the ACA took full effect, and 2021, respectively: 11.2%, 5.7%
Estimated number of Mainers who got health insurance coverage when Governor Janet Mills (D) expanded Medicaid: 99,000
Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
Some of you may have heard me observe a time or two that the trouble with George W. is that while he is good at politics, he stinks at governance. It bores him, he thinks government is bad to begin with and everything would be done better if it were contracted out to corporations.
We can now safely assert that W. has stacked much of the federal government with people like himself. And what you get when you put people like that in charge of government is ... what happened after Hurricane Katrina.
Many a time in the past six years I have bit my tongue so I wouldn't annoy people with the always obnoxious observation, "I told you so." But, dammit it all to hell, I did tell you, and I've been telling you since 1994, and I am so sick of this man and everything he represents—all the sleazy, smug, self-righteous graft and corruption and "Christian" moralizing and cynicism and tax cuts for all his smug, rich buddies.
Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention.
Puppy Pic of the Day: Take a bath! Get a job!
CHEERS to Joe Biden: International Man of Mystery. Yesterday the most powerful man on Earth strapped on Jetpack One and blasted off for the United Nations, where he delivered a barnburner, a stem-winder, and a rabble-rouser all at the same time. His message was a simple one: Putin is a very bad humanoid, no joke ladies and gentlemen, no joke...
“Russia has shamelessly violated the core tenets of the U.N. charter—no more important than the clear prohibition of countries taking territory of their neighbors by force,” Biden told the United Nations General Assembly. [...]
A senior administration official said a line was added to Biden’s speech responding to Putin’s remarks early Wednesday announcing a partial mobilization of his country’s military and appearing to threaten nuclear retaliation if Kyiv continues its efforts to reclaim occupied areas of southern and eastern Ukraine.
"A nuclear war can never be won and must never be fought," Biden said in his speech.
Tonight on Fox News will issue the official rebuttal to Biden’s outlandish attack on their leader.
CHEERS to taking a bite out of crime. I believe the precise legal term for this is…BOOM!!! Apparently the 45th president is a crook, and New York's AG has the receipts:
For 20 years, Donald Trump and his family enriched themselves through "numerous acts of fraud and misrepresentations," New York Attorney General Letitia James alleges in a new lawsuit that accuses the Trumps of "grossly" inflating the former president's net worth by billions of dollars and cheating lenders and others with false and misleading financial statements.
The civil lawsuit, filed Wednesday in State Supreme Court in Manhattan, seeks a $250 million judgment and a prohibition on any of the Trumps leading a company in the state of New York.
Among other allegations, the suit claims that the former president's Florida estate and golf resort, Mar-a-Lago, was valued as high as $739 million, but should have been valued at around one-tenth that amount, at $75 million.
The main takeaway from yesterday’s announcement: Trump’s Super PAC sheeple-fleecing team is going to be very, very busy for a very, very long time.
P.S. This is fun...
True fact: they’re the only bank that has a complimentary wiener schnitzel buffet in their lobby.
CHEERS to the chilling season. This evening at 9:04 EDT the autumnal equinox will get its groove on and steal summer's mojo. Right on cue the flannel shirttails will be flappin' in the breeze and the trees will prep themselves to become nature's end-of-year fireworks display—although a bit less fireworky in spots because of the drought:
“We will still have brilliant colors in New England because of the fact that we have so many different kinds of trees and they’re growing on kind of ridges, and kind of slopes and wetlands,” Richard Primack, a professor of plant ecology at Boston University, told the Associated Press. “You know we will have good color but the color will probably be more spotty than usual.”
Maine will showcase its usual display of colors this foliage season, said Gale Ross, fall foliage spokesperson for the Department of Agriculture, Conservation, and Forestry in Maine. The western mountains of Maine and northern Maine have been dry but not in drought conditions, she said.
“Our forests are very healthy and resilient. I think we’re going to see a typical season, as we usually see in the state of Maine,” Ross said. “I know there might be a little bit of color developing a bit early this year in some areas due to our very dry summer.”
Still, the transition to The Nippy Side does make everyday life more of a challenge, like having to put on ten individual pairs of Gore-Tex toemuffs anytime we go outside, not to mention knitting tiny hats and scarves for the squirrels. Here at the BiPM household we'll observe our usual equinox tradition tonight: slurping a quart of steaming clam chowder strained through a flannel shirt into a dirty L.L. Bean boot. It’s just how we roll in these parts, bub.
BRIEF SANITY BREAK
END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
JEERS to those batty Brits. On September 22, 1761, George III was crowned King of England. His ascension seems to mirror the 2017 one here on our side of the pond:
"It was a sad day for the British Empire when King George became its political master.
He was a man of narrow intellect, and lacked every element of the greatness of statesmanship.
'He had a smaller mind,' says the British historian, [Peter] Green, 'than any English king before him save James II.' He showered favors on his obsequious followers, while men of independent character whom he could not bend to his will became the objects of his hatred."
Sounds like a certain New York City-born jackass with a narcissism fetish who once hoisted his bloated carcass on our own throne nearly six years ago. (Thank God he was quickly deposed by the rabble.) Anyway, thanks for the colonies, G-3. But, as always, you can keep the kidney pudding. And the haggis. And Boris Johnson. (Please.)
CHEERS to punching up. Florida Governor Ron "Little Corporal" DeSantis thought it would be fun to lure several dozen asylum-seeking Venezuelans (aka legal immigrants) in Texas into a van, throw them onto a plane, and send them on a zig-zag cross-country trip that eventually ended up, unannounced, in Massachusetts. But it turns out—funny story, really—that human beings don’t like being kidnapped. Who knew??? Well, apparently the asylum seekers who are now suing the little corporal. Sick stuff:
The lawsuit alleges that the scheme involved DeSantis and other Florida officials worked with unidentified defendants to identify and target migrants by "trolling streets" outside a migrant shelter in San Antonio and other locales and that they lured roughly 50 migrants with McDonald's gift certificates and free hotel stays, with the promise that if they boarded planes to other states they would get jobs, housing, educational opportunities and other assistance upon arrival. […]
"Defendants manipulated them, stripped them of their dignity, deprived them of their liberty, bodily autonomy, due process, and equal protection under law, and impermissibly interfered with the Federal Government’s exclusive control over immigration in furtherance of an unlawful goal and a personal political agenda," wrote Oren Sellstrom, the litigation director for Lawyers for Civil Rights, a Boston-based nonprofit legal aid group involved in the lawsuit.
If convicted, I suggest DeSantis be punished by forcing him onto a plane and flying him to the worst destination he can imagine: drag queen story hour in San Francisco.
Ten years ago in C&J: September 22, 2012
JEERS to amateur hour. After months of blunders, gaffes and, worst of all, saying what he really thinks, Mitt Romney will relaunch the relaunch of his campaign relaunch, now that the fallout from the secret “47 percent” tape scandal has dropped from "hair on fire" to "oh, these fucking gallstones." The NEW and IMPROVED Romney campaign will be announced by the candidate and his running mate from the back of an Edsel while drinking New Coke and passing out AYDS candy to small children and Ben-Gay aspirin to the grownups, which will all be recorded on Betamax. What could go wrong???
And just one more…
JEERS to today’s edition of Here’s What Happens When The Stupidest President In History Watches Too Much TV, Gets A Really Bad Idea In His Head, Blurts It Out Loud, And Everyone’s Too A’ Scared To Say No. Ladies and gentlemen, your tax dollars flying out the window:
This has been today’s edition of Here’s What Happens When The Stupidest President In History Watches Too Much TV, Gets A Really Bad Idea In His Head, Blurts It Out Loud, And Everyone’s Too A’ Scared To Say No.
Have a nice Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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