“Hey Virgil! Where are you going dressed like that? This ain’t Saturday. No militia drills today. I could use some help with breakfast”
“No, Honey, this is it! Today! Civil War. It’s finally our time to fight!”
“Fight who? With what, with that AR? Are you telling me you’re heading out to start shooting people? Seriously? What, are you crazy or somethin’?”
“Listen Sue, I’ve been training for this for months, maybe years. Why do you think I invested in all these guns and tactical gear? This is it baby! Civil war has finally come!”
“Hey, let me ask you something? Where exactly are you headed? Where’s the big battle gonna take place? There’s no Mason-Dixon line here. What are you gonna do? Knock on someone’s door that you think is part of the enemy and shoot them in their own home? Did you send an invite to all of your enemies, telling them to meet your crew down at the Walmart parking lot, to have it out? You have not thought this through, Virgil.”
“Look, this country is split in two. There’s the true patriots, like me, willing to lay our lives on the line for this country. Then there’s those liberal, commie, socialist, whatever they are, that want to destroy our country. It’s red against blue, simple as that!”
“No, not so simple as that. This may be a red state or a blue state, or whatever it is, but it’s not split down the middle with a magic marker, with the blue half on one side of the state and red on the other. We are completely mixed in with all our neighbors, block by block, house to house, and they don’t all believe like we do. We know a lot of them, but not all of them. How you gonna to know who you’re supposed to shoot, or beat-up, or whatever your plans are? And what am I supposed to tell the kids? ‘Sorry girls, Dad can’t coach basketball today because he’s out looking for an excuse to use his fucking machine gun, because he thinks that makes him a patriot, or a man, or whatever, when it’s just gonna get him killed, or in jail.’ Virgil, I don’t mind your weekend gun activities, but this is too much.”
“Dammit Susan, I took an oath. I’ve been going to meetings and trainings and got all this gear. Now I’m just supposed to give it up, just like that? What are the guys gonna think? I’d be letting them down.”
“Letting them down? What about us, your family? You took a wedding vow, remember? Nothing in there about becoming a violent criminal and bringing shame to your family. Or ending up in prison. You think I’m kidding? Are you listening to me?”
“Yes, yes. Of course I’m listening.”
"And don’t be so sure all your ‘boys’ are even gonna show up.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, remember January 6th? Two things about that day — First, more than 850 people who think like you were arrested, and are either facing charges or already heading to prison, including the leaders of your militia armies. You wanna end up like them? And don’t kid yourself. That was a violent riot, where a lot of people got hurt and people actually died.”
“What’s the second thing?”
“The second thing is, you guys might sound big and scary, at least to each other. But there aren’t actually enough of you to take on the U.S. military. That’s a suicide mission, assuming you even have a location to go fight your so-called ‘civil war’.”
“I reckon we have between 200,000 and 300,000 members nationwide, and that’s a lot of fighters, and we are really well armed.”
“OK, that may be, but think about January 6th. That’s the one day that Trump called on everyone to come to the capitol with a huge show of force and determination. That was the big, the biggest day. It was D-Day, ‘1776’ and all that, right? It was supposedly the most important day ever for all you Proud Boys and OathKeepers and all the other militias around the country to stand up for the cause, for your leader. And how many militia actually showed up? Two to three hundred, total. That’s it. Just enough to look tough on TV and show the world you are willing to become violent criminals in order to achieve what you call “justice.” Virgil, you are dreaming. On that biggest day ever, when Trump himself ordered you all to show up...”
“Hey, don’t you think our many small, well-organized tactical units can do significant damage to whomever we want, whenever we want?”
“Of course I know that, but that’s not civil war. That’s straight-up domestic terrorism. You KNOW that innocent people will be hurt or killed. Is that what you want? Is that who you really are? Is that the man I married? Now please, take off your army gear and help me get breakfast together, before the kids come down. You can catch up with your guys at the next BBQ, okay?”
“I guess so. I just wanna feel like I’m doing something to help save my country from the enemy within.”
“The only enemy within is the enemy within you. The one that lies to you, by telling you that your neighbors are your enemy. They’re not. They’re your neighbors, for Christ’s sake. They’re entitled to their political opinions, just like you’re entitled to yours. And even if you passionately disagree with them on everything political and otherwise, let that be okay. You don’t need to harm anyone in order to make our town or our country a better place. If you can’t love your neighbors, just because they don’t support Trump, at least love yourself and your family enough to remember who you really are, and to stay out of prison, please. You can do more good that way. Now hurry up. Don’t wanna be late for church! ”