Nearly everything Donald Trump does is gag-inducing, of course, but it’s rare for the law to get involved. That changed when Trump decided his best defense in his current New York civil fraud trial—which is hacking away at his company like King Arthur delimbing the Black Knight—was to hector the judge’s clerk.
It’s the sort of tack a sociopath would take—which is weird since we all know Trump has long since surmounted the rarefied summit of Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, hurtling right past “self-actualization” and right on to “lifetime supply of Fiddle Faddle.”
Of course, Trump has little real defense in this trial, other than behaving at all times like a moist sack of howler monkeys, so he’s decided to repeatedly try to trigger a mistrial. (His latest attempt failed on Friday.)
And so Trump needs to be able to act like a toddler in public. And thanks to a friendly appellate judge, he can. Again. At least for the time being.
RELATED STORY: Judge denies Trump's request for a mistrial in his New York civil fraud case
After Judge Arthur Engoron issued a gag order against both Trump and his lawyers prohibiting them from further attacking his clerk in public, Trump’s lawyers appealed that decision. And an appellate court judge has sided with the Trump camp, claiming Thursday that there’s an inalienable First Amendment right to be a stochastic terrorist-cum-colicky baby.
The New York Times, via Yahoo! News:
This week, Trump’s lawyers challenged both of those orders in an appeals court and on Thursday, the appellate judge, David Friedman, paused them after an hourlong oral argument.
The decision left Trump free, for the moment, of all of the gag orders placed on him. This month, a federal appeals court temporarily froze the order issued against him in his election interference case in Washington.
About an hour after the New York gag orders were paused, Jason Miller, a senior adviser to Trump, posted on social media attacking Allison Greenfield, the clerk, calling her a “Democrat Operative.”
Later, shortly before 7 p.m., Trump himself seized on the pause by posting a message on his Truth Social platform in which he called Greenfield “politically biased” and “out of control.”
Oh yes, Trump had words. Via Truth Social:
The gag orders could still be reimposed, of course, if a full appellate panel decides Trump has been sufficiently feral to justify them. But for the time being, Trump and his attorneys can continue to go after Greenfield, who, according to The Times, “has become a magnet for right-wing attacks on the case.”
Engoron has claimed that his office had received “hundreds of threatening phone calls, voicemails, emails, letters and packages”—which must have been deeply disturbing for the judge and his clerk, and a “mission accomplished” moment for Trump.
In other words, Trump has done what he does best: Summon his flying monkeys to knock the stuffing out of innocent scarecrows.
RELATED STORY: Donald Trump posts are all over the map on Truth Social
Following Friedman’s decision to lift the gag order, Trump’s lawyers were of course pleased that Trump could go back to endangering people’s safety.
“Fortunately the Constitution and the First Amendment protect everyone, including President Trump,” said Trump attorney Christopher Kise. “The public will again have full access to what is really taking place in this unprecedented trial.”
And attorney Alina Habba, who is to Perry Mason as Boo Berry is to the Holy Spirit, naturally claimed vindication. Greenfield, she said, “is in the judge’s ear time and time again” and “if she had a real threat, she should get off the bench.”
Uh huh. Because there’s no way to determine if a threat is credible until a red-hatted yahoo shows up at your door with a pony keg full of chloroform and six rolls of duct tape.
RELATED STORY: Trump threatens Judge Engoron again, this time with a repost of a ‘citizens arrest’ fantasy
So now Trump will continue on with his lifelong pattern of ruining lives until someone stops him. Vomit, rinse, repeat. We’ve seen this movie before, of course, and it sucks.
Check out Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s four-volume Trump-trashing compendium, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.