Civil War? Secession? Really?! I hate to slow your roll, kill the vibe, harsh the mellow, piss in the punch bowl, whatever. Hold up a minute, buckaroos. Y’all got so damn excited locking and loading and preppin’ and stuff, I think you forgot something really important. I got a question. How are you gonna pay for all your tacticool gear once the shooting starts?
More precisely:
What are you going to use for your new currency?
[Shocked Pikachu]
These LARPers can prattle on all they want about how the GDP of Texas is comparable to Russia, whatever. No one’s gonna buy that malarkey — literally.
First off, you seen the ruble lately? It’s a train wreck. That’s no accident. Once upon a time, Russia was invited to join the G7. Then they got stupid and the US was all “GTFOH!” so Russia got kicked to the curb. They’re doing as well as you’d expect.
Second off, how’s your infrastructure? Still want to compare yourself to Russia? Fun fact: the United States government is not investing in Russian infrastructure, not its upgrades, nor its maintenance. Actually, the US government is busy helping people blow up Russia’s stuff. You might want to think about that.
Third and finally, what are you backing your newfangled currency and related debt obligations with? The full faith and credit of... not the United States?! “No problem,” you say. “We have oil fields!” Silly wabbits, have you forgotten the US government treats Oil Fields as Military Objectives? You might as well argue that honey is what bees use to protect themselves — from bears.