A swift kick in the teeth. A punch to the gut. These kind of moments seem like they always happen at two different times, either right at the beginning of the day, really before any good could have happened except realizing that you get another day to experience, or at the end of a good day, where everything has went your way and you couldn’t be happier.
That’s when I feel it the most. I currently just got some bad news. Now it really wasn’t that bad or life shattering, but in the moment it completely dragged me down to the low of my day.
The problem I have when I’m faced with these moments is that I end up wanting to take it out of everyone else.
My way of taking it out of everyone else is blatantly obvious and direct. I become short, and irritable, and to quote a lady from the 1940s, a real brute.
A great example was just a few minutes ago before writing this. My son was going to bed and wanted me to rock him. In any other circumstance that is something I will always jump to do because you never know when will the last time be to rock your kid to sleep. Luckily we haven’t gotten to that point yet, but I know it’ll happen before I know it. So instead of being joyed to do this end of night ritual, I gave my wife some attitude when she asked if I could do it instead of her. I looked at her and with malice in my tone asked, what are you going to do. Why, why would you say that? She explained that the laundry needed switched and alluded to other things being a mess downstairs. I begrudgingly got up and the moment I did my son looks at us grabbing his diaper and says pee pee. Wow dude, what perfect timing. Nobody likes cleaning dirty diapers, even just wet ones, and anyone who says they do are liars and eww gross? Well I go to change the diaper, start unzipping the onesie and BOOM! I know that smell.
I’ll skip ahead, but diaper was cleaned, hands touch the forbidden zone, and now hands need to washed immediately. As I rush towards the bathroom, someone forgot they closed the bathroom door earlier because the same child from the diaper changing part of the story was making a mess with bathtub crayons. Well that someone was me and in my haste to get to my destination also didn’t turn the hallway light on so… BANG! Body check right into the door.
My wife being the compassionate woman she is, asked me right away “what happened and are you alright?” I told what happened and all I hear is laughing coming from downstairs. I quickly said, it’s not funny in a rather irritated tone and immediately I realize, that was not the right response.
Now gentleman, it was not the right response for two reasons, one when your really think about it, ya the whole situation is comical, and two, you don’t ever give your wife the irritated tone unless you are ready for the consequences of her reacting the exact way she is supposed to react and that is to give it right back to you.
Why did I respond that way? Because I was letting the bad news from earlier effect every bit of my being up until that moment. Was it worth it? No. Will the problem even really affect me by tomorrow morning? No. It was a small thing that complete consumed me. This whole story is just one event that lasted maybe 2 hours of a random Tuesday night, but how many nights are ruined by small problems like these?
For me, not a lot any more. I have worked hard the past year to get rid of my anxieties and deal with these in healthy ways. Before that though these small things were a constant occurrence. Everything that I said, everything I did, every way someone reacted to me would play like a loop in my head over and over again never stopping until I found a way to numb the pain of reality.
My solutions in the past were mainly food and alcohol. A very unhealthy amount of food and alcohol. I consumed until I didn’t feel the pain anymore, until I didn’t feel anything anymore. And when I would pass out from the numbness all it would leave me is a wasted night, not knowing what I did before I passed out and a butt load of problems to still with in the morning.
I prefer my way of dealing with things now. Coping skills have become my best friend. When I’m feeling overwhelmed, I pray and meditate. When I get bad news, I normally try to take a step back, process it and figure out my next steps rather than dwelling on what I could have done differently. I don’t do these things alone, talking with my supportive wife, who surprise surprise wants me to succeed helps a ton. Just being able to get your thoughts out of your brain verbally helps to release the stranglehold it has on your emotions.
Now is my problem that started all of this gone? No. Do I feel better about it after expressing all of my thoughts through this article? Yes. Do I have a logical game plan to deal with the problem in the future. After getting my head out of butt, Yes I do.
I want to leave you with this, there is no problem on this planet that cannot be fixed. Nothing in your life cannot be supported by your family, friends and most of all God. Don’t under estimate the power of just talking these problems out. You have more support than you could ever imagine, you just have to be willing to reach out for the help.
Proverbs 28:26 He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered.