Well here it is... my first diary after what seems like a century of lurking. It's become an obsession really. I probably check DailyKos a couple of dozen times an hour looking for the latest breaking news about my most passionate cause; removing the gallery of rogues currently in power starting with the top rogue himself, George W. Bush. But do I help that cause? Not really. Very few people are aware of how much I want to see him gone or how educated I am about all the reasons it is so essential. The reason for this is simple. I'm an obsessive spectator rather than a performer, a player.
It took a friend's blog to wake me up. An old band mate of mine who happens to be a pretty decent writer in addition to his skills as a musician started one and recently posted a rant called
Sick of Sports Hysteria. I love sports- I'm a huge Pittsburgh Pirates fan- and I have found it a core part of my emotional existence throughout life. The article was mostly a somewhat reasonable attack on "the US sports machine" which he classed as "one of the most obnoxious forms of current populist idolatry." Somehow this struck a chord in me as I thought about how much time I spend following my team. Mostly in the summer when the Bucs are playing I'll devote a significant amount of time each day to checking on the game and reading the followup news accounts after the occasional (all too rare) big win :-(. Then it will be on to the fall when I'll cheer on the Denver Broncos and into the winter when I'll be hooked on the fate of the Sacramento Kings again. That takes me through to another spring training and the cycle begins anew. Sometimes I think if I took all the time I've "wasted" on following sports and applied it to hard study about one of my serious interests- preserving the planet through clean energy development for example- I could be a leader in some important field and have a real impact on the world and on its present and future inhabitants.
This brings me to my greatest sports-like addiction of all and reason I live on DailyKos- cheering on the left. Like with the latest Pirate game, I feel my spirits rise and fall daily and sometimes hourly on the latest developments in the presidential race and the whole status of the Us vs. Them grand battle that is the political game. I find it easy to justify lack of direct involvement. I don't live in a swing state, there are others who are better connected who can be more effective fighting the right, and the biggest lie of all- I don't have the time.
I've briefly been a performer in life from time to time and they were the biggest thrills I know. I led a cross-country bike ride as a statement against the prospect of nuclear war in the 80s. In the 90s I co-founded a progressive rock band and found some of the most inspiring music I'd ever known pouring out of me to be shared with the world. At the band's peak I promoted an "alternative inaugural ball" for Bill Clinton's first term and I never felt so alive as when I took a stage that night and rocked the house. There have been other moments of really doing something and enjoying the thrill, but dark times of unemployment in recent years have led me to relapse into just doing what I can to keep my family fed and secure. The truth is my socioeconomic condition has me trapped as a wage slave and I lack the freedom to readily dig myself out, climb up on a soapbox, and perform as I'd like.
It seems the natural first step is to start a blog, but DailyKos offers an even easier way to get started in the form of comments and diaries. I haven't partaken before because I'm intimidated to join in the flow of ideas from all the regular contributors who are so practiced at their craft. Some of you have built up enormous credibility with many thoughtful and well-written essays. I envy the ease with which you pour your hearts out for the world to see. I pledge that from this time forward, even if I get flamed for this first effort, you'll hear more from me because I do often have important things to share and perspectives that could be enlightening and entertaining to some. I'll also start doing some of the grunt work to support the team starting with Letters to Editors and political representatives on important issues. The spectator demon must be destroyed.