Bush Administration: We declare a War on Terror!
Conservative Politicians: Huzzah! Where to next, Fearless Leader? By the way, American Public, to speak out against this decision is un-American!
Conservative American Public: Yeah! (simultaneously wraps self in one end of the American Flag while binding Moderate-to-Liberal American Public with the other)
Bush Administration: First Afghanistan, and then onward to Iraq!
Muslim People: Those are both Islamic countries. That means the War on Terror a war on Islam!
Bush Administration: No, you've got it all wrong. This is a War on Terror, not a War on Islam!
(Enter General William Boykin)
Boykin: This battle is a battle between Judeo-Christian values and those of Satan. They (points to everyone but himself) want to destroy our country because we're Christian. To them I say the same thing I gloated to that captured Somalian warloard: my god is bigger than yours.
(exit Boykin)
Moderate-to-Liberal American Public: (unbound; now engaged in an animated tug-of-war with Conservative American Public over the Flag) Boykin's statements make it seem like this IS a War on Islam!
Conservative Politicians: Shut up! You're inciting more terror through your words. Besides, Boykin is just exercising his Civil Right to Free Speech! Don't disipline him, because he's got a good record.
(Encouraged, Conservative American Public begins to tug more freociously on the flag)
Bush Administration: (in soliloquy) We don't want to alienate Conservative American Public so close to an election. Let's send in a patsy and make it all go away! (now shouts) PATSY!!!
Rumsfeld: Yes, boss?
Bush Administration: Make this problem go away.
Rumsfeld: Is America engaged in a War on Islam? No, it's not. Is Boykin a General? Yes, he is. Is America engaged in a War on Terror? Yes, it is. Are Generals needed to fight wars? Yes, they are. Thank you...
Conservative Politicians & Conservative American Public: There you have it!
Moderate-to-Liberal American Public: Rumsfeld's math that doesn't add up! See: (holds up copy of recent report showing Terror War radicalizes Arabs) comments like Boykins' will only serve to make things worse!
Conservative American Public: Quiet, you. (tugs harder on the flag)
Muslim People: (watches a loop of Boykin's comments over and over again)
FIN
