On a dark dreary day last October, we first heard the grim news. Bill in Portland Maine was going to be forced to do the sensible thing, to stop entertaining tens of thousands of antsy political junkies while he found a new job. Well, we just couldn't have that!!! The hordes of kossacks that make up the wackiest political family on the net sprang into action, with an online telethon to make Bill our first professional snark laureate. We need your help to keep the fresh, pre-moistened, snark flowing. More on the flip...
Our snark telethon didn't have any banjos, and there were no singing poodles or dancing triplets in Jerry Lewis's lap. Just Kos, graciously letting the inmates pick out their own personal asylum- Bill in Portland Maine. Now, that magical pilot year is over and it's time to reinvest in our own continuing insanity for one more year.
Those of us who consented to monthly payments don't need to do a thing, just let that snark subscription be deducted as usual. New readers or folks who want to show their support for non-wonky front page features can start their monthly subscription at the following links:
$5 monthly contribution: click here
$10 monthly contribution: click here
$20 monthly contribution: click here
Folks who would like to make their daily romp in the kiddie pool continue with a one time gift can use this link
Those of us who don't trust the PayPal empire can send their contribution straight to the horse's ass mouth by snail mail (check or money order) to : Bill Harnsberger, 16 Pitt Street, Portland, ME, 04103
My fellow snark-americans, Bill has consistently encouraged us all to talk like pirates, to pick out our stripper names, become bobs or bobettes, drink rum and cokes, love the wozzles and the pooties, and generally just learn to fake it til you make it here on the big orange. There's a reason we call Cheers and Jeers the kiddie pool. It's where you can go and post in a gentle, supportive, gassy environment. Where you can test out your online training wheels in a squishy landscape, with lots of damp sweaty hands to catch your fall.
Now, let's put our hands together. He's the man of a thousand faces, the hoister of his own petard, the boy with his finger in the dam of political opinion. He's the man, the legend--- ladies and gentlemen, it's Bill in Portland Maine!!!
But enough about me, let's talk about you. I love you. I adore you. I want to kiss you like an 18 year-old hockey buff not wearing protection in the back of a Wasilla Buick. You're the cloture vote to my filibuster. You’re the surge to my Anbar Awakening. You’re the trillion-dollar bailout to my worthless bundle of sub-prime mortgages. I'm sweet on ya, darlin'. And if you're in the mood to keep C&J going for another year, well, I would be honored to slip a fresh diaper on my head and continue my slow, public descent into insanity.
Win or lose on November 4th, we can't let all the snarky Bill-goodness get away. Barack Obama and a democratic congress needs the checks and balances of our fearless snark leader just as much as the old guys. Besides, don't we all secretly know, in our heart of hearts, that Obama's already a monthly subscriber? Damn right! <spits a loogy onto the virtual floor>
Vote with your wallets right now for the hunky humor of our pal, Bill in Portland Maine!!! And kids, here's a little known fact...Bill started out as a native buckeye, so here's your secret chance to vote for Ohio!