As you can probably tell, I'm quite shaken up - devastated, really - by the shocking failure of President Obama to part the clouds and provide sunshine this morning. After all the work we put in to get him elected, all the sacrifice, all the hope invested in his administration...wait for it...Is This Change We Can Believe In?TM I've been crying and drinking double-malt scotch all morning folks, because this is just too much.
First he ignores my repeated suggestions to appoint an Ice Cream Czar, then he doesn't show up at my nephew's birthday party despite being given three full days' notice, and now this. Meanwhile he's been gallivanting around the world eating fine cuisine while so many are going hungry, flying on his own dedicated jetliner without even offering rides to us mere plebs, and talking to people who aren't 100% in agreement with me. I now know why the caged bird sings.
Take a good look at it, folks:
That is clearly a sunrise in a cloudless sky. This morning's cloudiness is thus one more campaign promise broken, one more callous act of betrayal. There is no other way of describing it: It is tantamount to defenestrating Gandhi on to a pile of puppies and then lighting them all on fire. Most importantly, what do we tell the children? How do we explain to them that they are heading into a future where a president can't even be trusted to suspend the laws of thermodynamics, even when someone as deserving as I would find it really convenient? It's plain as day (though not this dark, dreary day, thanks to President Cheney Lite) that the presidential rain dance hat is at the beck and call of the sweater industry.
To show solidarity with the victims of this tragedy, who have been denied a bright and refreshing morning, I will be holding a candle-light vigil and interfaith prayer service at the local community center. Grief counselors will be in attendance, and I have asked the philharmonic chorale ensemble to accompany me in a song I've composed about my disappointment with President Obama's meteorological performance to date. The title is "Why, God, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Us?" It will further be accompanied by a reenactment of the crucifixion, which I think an apt metaphor for how we have been treated.
But all is not lost! We must contact our Representatives, Senators, and even Obama himself, to let them hear our voices united in one great, glorious whine that will shake the heavens with the sheer force of our pettiness and contempt. Their contact information can be found here.
UPDATE: Rahm Emanuel has still not been fired for calling some bloggers stupid. The insufferable outrage continues.
UPDATE #2: Hurry up and get this on Wreck List! What's taking so long!? We need urgent action on this, people!
UPDATE #3: The diary has come in for some criticism - clearly from sweater industry shills pushing the Cloudiness Agenda - so I would just like to point out that all shortcomings of this diary are directly attributable to Barack Obama alone.