(Manhattan) Crowds gathered in Battery Park early today to complain that New Jersey had no business being so close to Ground Zero.
"We don’t question New Jersey’s right to exist. What we do question is why it needs to be just one ferry boat ride away," complained one picketer carrying a placard, "Why Can’t You Be More Like Montana."
Amid signs reading, "New Jersey Go Home", "Try Using Less Product Already" and "I Bet Alicia Keys Will Never Sing A Song About You", one participant complained about the state, "Just look at it. You can see it with your own eyes. Sitting over there all smug with buildings and people and stuff."
When asked why they waited until now to log their complaints with a state that had always been New York’s next door neighbor, the consensus among the crowd was that the newly generated anger resulted from the second season of Jersey Shore.
Protester Leticia Moore commented, "We remained silent through the first season, thinking the nightmare that was Snooki and Jwoww was over. But a second season? If they want to live here and be a part of our country, Jersey needs to get out of our grill and our plasma tv’s."
But demonstrators were unable to agree if it was The Situation who was causing the situation. Some just wanted to send New Jersey back where it came from, while another group wants Cristo to wrap the entire state in tasteful earth tone fabrics.
Frustrated but relieved at having had the chance to vent at the nearly hour long demonstration, the crowd retreated to a cupcake shop in Tribeca.
While city officials estimated the number of protesters at 150, FOX News reported a crowd of "about two million."