Do we really have to do this? C'mon. I mean ...
c'mon:
It ain't easy being green, but according to Fox Business, Kermit the Frog and his Muppet friends are reds.
Last week, on the network's "Follow the Money" program, host Eric Bolling went McCarthy on the new, Disney-released film, "The Muppets," insisting that its storyline featuring an evil oil baron made it the latest example of Hollywood's so-called liberal agenda.
Bolling, who took issue with the baron's name, Tex Richman, was joined by Dan Gainor of the conservative Media Research Center, who was uninhibited with his criticism.
"It's amazing how far the left will go just to manipulate your kids, to convince them, give the anti-corporate message," he said.
Here's my question. How the hell do conservatives find time in their day to get outraged about all the things they insist they need to be outraged about? The War on Christmas, fine, whatever. Oh, and Spongebob might be gay. Also Teletubbies. And the Muppets are godless damn communists, and all of this is an elaborate Hollywood and/or gay and/or atheist and/or communist plot to "indoctrinate" your children. Every. Damn. Time.
Now, I'm not going to sit here and tell you all that the Muppets aren't anti-corporate leftists and/or communists. They probably are. Or not, I don't care. I think everybody knows that if you write a script with an oil industry executive as the bad guy, you probably hate America because everybody, everywhere, loves rich asshole oilmen.
But for the life of me, I can't figure out why conservatives let their children watch any television or see any movies, ever. Ever. The entire children's entertainment industry is geared towards teaching conspicuously anti-conservative messages like "caring for others." Everything's all about sharing, and learning lessons, and tolerance towards people who are different. You almost never see children's shows centered around the Randian doctrines of screw-everybody-and-take-their-money (that's left for the advertisers). Worse still, when there is a character with a healthy amount of market-based greed (see: aforementioned rich oil industry executive), they're treated as the bad guys.
Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood, Sesame Street, My Little Pony, you name it. They're all about kindness towards others, or working together, or about how Friendship is Magic (i.e. based on pagan superstition?). You never saw the anthropomorphic kids on Arthur beat the crap out of a guy for being Muslim, or got a long lecture from the Transformers about how unfair it is that Optimus Prime has to depreciate his new chassis on an extended schedule because of the godless bastards in Washington. There are millionaires portrayed in a positive light here and there, primarily in the form of superheroes like Batman and Iron Man, but they still wander around doing good and stuff, instead of just letting society go to hell around them like a good libertarian would. Christ, sometimes they even go after polluters.
So fine, the Muppets are communists. I don't care anymore.