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My dear fellow Gun Nutters™.

It is so obvious why we need to own assault rifles, either semi or fully automatic don't really matter none (let's not quibble over semantics here), that it causes me great pain to have to once again explain why. But for the sake of all my fellow Gun Nutter™ friends out there having to endure all the low down mean spirited insults coming both right ‘n left from all the friggin scaredycat libtards out there (but mostly all leftlike, if’n ya git my drift) I will, just so’s those libtards (meaning folks don’t know their effin ass from a friggin hole in the ground) will finally understand ‘n quit picking on us here Gun Nutter™ types bout this once ‘n for all…

Now folks, suppose your typical ‘bad guy with a gun’ (who just happens to really be a ‘good guy with a gun’ but thought y’all was a ‘bad guy with a gun’ cause when ya saw him with his gun ya thought he was a ‘bad guy with a gun’ so y’all pulled out your gun which is why he thought you was a ‘bad guy with a gun’ to begin with, but I digress) shows up on the scene? What y’all gonna do about it?

You have to react real quicklike, ya know, no time to think. Follow me? See what I’m getting at here? It's just like the good old days of the Wild, Wild West, ya know, where’n whoever’s quickest on the draw wins ‘n lives to kill another day.

Of course, to win in this life-or-death contest ya have ta eyethah be a real good shot (now that’s the kinda gun control we should all be a talkin bout rite now) or armed with a weapon that don’t require ya to be a good shot to take out your target, ‘n that's where your semi or fully automatic rifle (again, let’s not quibble about semantics here as eyethah will get the job done quite nicely), ya know, the one that sprays effin bullits all over the friggin place, bullits that can go thru solid walls like a friggin hot knife through soft butter, comes in quite handy. (But a good shotgun also works well in this here situation if’n yer up real closelike, ya know.)

O’ course, you may take out a few innocent bystanders as well, but heck, ya was jus doin yer civic duty in takin out the ‘bad guy with a gun’. (Okay, so he was really a 'good guy with a gun’, but how was y’all s’posed to know that afore all the shootin start’d ‘n the smoke cleared? Jeez, can’t ya friggin libtards cut us ‘good guys’ sum effin slack here, okay?)

Anyways, it's like my dear old’ Gran Pappy, may God™ rest his soul (he recently saccumbed to a case of severe lead poisoning, if’n y’all git ma drift) said to me with his last dying breath. “Son,” he said, "ya know…ya nevah know…"

So my fellow Gun Nutters™, remember to always stay ‘locked ‘n loaded’ with a live one in your chamber, ‘n good luck ta y’all at the Great American Shoot Out™, may the best shot win.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot to make my public service announcement:

To all our friggin skaredykat libtard friends out there in the line o’ fire, remember, at the first sound o’ gunfire, take cover, keep your heads down, ‘n for God’s sake don’t y’all come out til tha shootin’s ovah ‘n done with!


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