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I have a weakness for cooking shows, and I especially like Kitchen Nightmares (the BBC version much more than the over-dramatized, too soapy Fox version). What I like about Kitchen Nightmares is that, each episode, Gordon Ramsay is confronted with the owner and chef (maybe the same person, maybe two different people) of a failing restaurant. Each episode, he tries the food of that restaurant. And almost each episode, he (rudely, which is his well-known style) explains to the owner and chef that their food blows, and that’s why nobody wants to eat there. Shocker, right? Well, and obviously these shows are heavily edited to maximize the drama and tension, it almost always seems to come as a huge shock to the owner/chef that their food is bad, despite the obvious clue that nobody is eating there and the situation is so grave that you’ve applied to go on a reality TV show and be humiliated for the chance to turn things around (and the show has a pretty dismal success rate, so it’s a slim chance at that). Even when they can acknowledge that their food is bad, there’s usually some hurt feelings because Gordon Ramsay (who, as anybody who’s ever seen one of his TV shows ought to know, either is or enjoys acting like a total asshole) was mean to them when he said the food stinks.

The people who run these restaurants, and again it’s television so I can only comment on them in terms of how they come off on the show, are deluding themselves. They are living in a world in which their restaurant is perfect, the food is fantastic, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with what they’re doing. The chronically empty restaurant that’s bankrupting them is empty because of some other reason, having nothing to do with them, that they can’t figure out, so they need Gordon Ramsay to help them. The fact that Gordon Ramsay ALWAYS finds a reason why the restaurant’s struggles are caused by internal failures is, I guess, irrelevant. They must each be convinced that THIS is the one restaurant that Chef Ramsay is going to walk into and say, “My God, I can’t believe you’re not packed to the gills every night! For the life of me, I just can’t find a single thing wrong with what you’re doing!” But this NEVER HAPPENS. To get upset when a man who’s known for being an asshole criticizes you for your restaurant’s failure in an assholish way is ludicrous. YOU know your restaurant is in desperate straits and YOU agreed to go on Gordon Ramsay’s show to try to fix it. You MUST realize that he’s going to find flaws with your restaurant and that he’s going to berate you for them in his well-known style. How can you be surprised when events unfold exactly as anybody could have predicted?

I feel the same way, by the way, about contestants on Ramsay’s other show, Hell’s Kitchen, who go on the show without knowing how to make risotto, despite the fact that he has every single one of his contestants, every season, make risotto. It’s one of his test dishes; how can you go on the show unprepared to make it and then get pissed off when he yells at you for it? BECAUSE YOU’RE DELUDING YOURSELF. You think you’ll be the one person to win Hell’s Kitchen without having to make a decent risotto.

I’m now convinced that you could swap the Kitchen Nightmares saps with the House Republican caucus and never notice the difference.

Genius math illiterate Paul Ryan went on Fox News Sunday and proved that he’s every bit as delusional as anybody who’s ever gone on TV to let Gordon Ramsay abuse them. Wallace pressed him on his budget, which yet again calls for repealing the PPACA and giving seniors (but no current seniors or anybody 56 or older!) half-off coupons to the Dollar Store in lieu of Medicare. That led to this exchange:

WALLACE: Are you saying that as part of your budget you would repeal — you assume the repeal of Obamacare?

RYAN: Yes.

WALLACE: Well that’s not going to happen.

RYAN: Well, we believe it should. [...]

Well, good for you guys! And special congratulations to Paul Ryan, who demonstrated conclusively that he’s more self-deluded than a Fox News anchor! But you know, and I shouldn’t offer advice, but maybe the public would prefer that you guys tried governing based on what will or might happen, instead of what you think should happen even though it won’t. You’re not the one guy whose restaurant doesn’t suck, you know? You’re not going to magically get the PPACA repealed, no matter how much you think it should be. So maybe stop trying and actually govern?

They continued:

WALLACE: This was a big issue in the campaign between Romney-Ryan vs. Obama-Biden. They think they won and they think that’s one of the reasons they won, and there are, Congressman, a lot of independent studies that say if you put this into effect, the net effect will be that seniors will end up having to pay more of the share of their healthcare cost. [...]

RYAN: I would argue against your premise that we lost this issue in the campaign. We won the senior vote.

Wow, man, that’s some fine self-delusion right there. Despite getting creamed in the election, Ryan thinks he and “Mitt” won the Medicare issue because they “won the senior vote.” This is funny for two reasons.

1. That’s not how elections work, dudebro
2. You think you guys “won” the Medicare issue because you won the one demographic group that won’t be affected by your reforms

Ryan’s plan specifically exempts anyone 56 and up (that’s this year’s version; the one he was touting at election time was 55 and up) from any changes to Medicare. This is the last group of people whose votes should be seen as a referendum on your plan, because they’ll never have to suffer the consequences of it! This is like arguing that a war against Iran would be popular because the people of Burundi support it. Maybe they do, but who gives a shit? They’re not the ones who’ll be getting bombed. Meanwhile, in the real world, people don’t like the Ryan voucher/”premium support” (i.e., voucher) plan.

But Paul Ryan thinks they do. Because seniors something something. He doesn’t have to cook a risotto! He’ll win anyway.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Tip Jar (17+ / 0-)

    If this was to your liking, I sometimes write other things like it, and other things not so like it, at

    by fasteddie9318 on Mon Mar 11, 2013 at 06:07:41 PM PDT

  •  Ryan is the guy (8+ / 0-)

    whose lunch counter keeps serving shit sandwiches & he still wonders why he gets no repeat customers.

    Just a hint:

    Shit on a shingle is not actually made with REAL shit, Ryan.

    Irony takes a worse beating from Republicans than Wile E. Coyote does from Acme. --Tara the Antisocial Social Worker

    by Youffraita on Mon Mar 11, 2013 at 06:20:31 PM PDT

  •  Apparently Ryan didnt realize.... (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    That 99% of seniors vote Repub, regardless of ideas, who's running or how they r voting against their own interests.

    Ask Osama Bin Laden if he's better off than he was 4 years ago

    by SuzieQ4624 on Mon Mar 11, 2013 at 06:21:20 PM PDT

    •  I think he does realize this... (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      That's why he exempts them, because the Republicans can't afford to risk their support. But then he wants to turn around and claim that their support means that he and "Mitt" "won" the Medicare debate, which is unadulterated BS.

      If this was to your liking, I sometimes write other things like it, and other things not so like it, at

      by fasteddie9318 on Mon Mar 11, 2013 at 06:23:41 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Also in the Republican Idea Supply Room (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    fasteddie9318, pittie70

    everything's so rotten it makes people puke when they get a good look at it.

  •  T&R (5+ / 0-)

    Gordon Ramsay is the bomb.  And he's not really an asshole - a good chef doesn't have time to put up with incompetents in the kitchen.  If you can't make risotto and go on his show - you're incompetent and SHOULD be called a fucking donkey in public repeatedly.

    Have you seen his Ultimate Cookery Course?  Brilliant. He's calm, deft and really shows people how to make good food without fuck being yelled every thirty seconds.

    And we sail and we sail and we never see land, just the rum in the bottle and a pipe in my hand...

    by Mortifyd on Mon Mar 11, 2013 at 07:21:22 PM PDT

    •  You're right (4+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      pittie70, Mortifyd, PHScott, joynow

      I wasn't really fair for GR. My point is that he is the way he is, and everybody knows it, so only a delusional nut goes on one of his shows and is taken aback at how he acts. But you're right, it's more a refusal to put up with incompetent morans than assholishness.

      The Ultimate Cookery Course is great; actually seeing him cook is always cool.

      If this was to your liking, I sometimes write other things like it, and other things not so like it, at

      by fasteddie9318 on Mon Mar 11, 2013 at 07:38:49 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Great diary. I love Gordon Ramsay and would (4+ / 0-)

    love to have seen him right down Ryan's neck in that photo where he was in a kitchen "washing dishes."  

    "What the f--k are you doing, you bloody nutter?  The f--king dishes have been washed already.  Don't you have any f--king real work to do?  Get the f--k out of my f--king kitchen and leave the f--king apron where you found it, you bloody sneak thief."

    Of all the preposterous assumptions of humanity over humanity, nothing exceeds most of the criticisms made on the habits of the poor by the well-housed, well-warmed, and well-fed. --Herman Melville

    by ZedMont on Mon Mar 11, 2013 at 09:05:14 PM PDT

  •  Really like the diary (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    PHScott, fasteddie9318

    Well thought out and I think the analogy is pretty apt.

    To be honest though, for the time being I'm pretty happy they're clueless. At some point it would be good to have a non-insane alternative party just to add checks and balances. But it's way to dangerous right now to elect even "moderate" Republicans so I'm glad they're so dumb and non-self aware.

    When we stop putting leaders from the past up on pedestals and ignoring their flaws, we can start seeing our present leaders for what they really are.

    by PhillyJeff on Tue Mar 12, 2013 at 12:12:14 AM PDT

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