Texas Sen. Ted Cruz, seen here lecturing others about their 'values'
Given the caliber of political mind Texas Republicans seem intent on foisting off onto the rest of us, non-Texans might be curious as to what sorts of people they've tapped for state government of late. The simple answer is "more of the same," as the responses to an AP questionnaire on gay rights sent to GOP candidates for governor, lieutenant governor and attorney general revealed. Lt. Gov. Dewhurst
sets the tone:
"Sadly, in a culture infected with political correctness, people of faith are targeted for defending their beliefs with no consideration of their First Amendment rights. I will continue to stand with my fellow Texans in defending our God-given, constitutionally protected freedoms."
Yes, yes. Why are we even talking about civil rights for gay Americans when
people of faith are the real victims here. It's getting so you can't even show your love for Jesus by calling someone names and beating them up anymore.
GOP gubbernatorial candidate Tom Pauken:
"Current statutes adequately address the issue of equality before the law and I would oppose laws that provide preferential treatments based on lifestyle choices."
Unless that lifestyle choice is my own, in which case all the rules will be written to support that and only that.
Attorney general candidate Ken Paxton:
"I do not believe in elevating sexual 'rights' to be superior to religious freedom and freedom of conscience. Such rights are enumerated nowhere in the Texas or U.S. Constitution, unlike religious freedom ...
Again, the victimhood is palpable.
You having
your rights will automatically infringe on
my right to believe you shouldn't have that, so you shouldn't have that. Each candidate seems to have set out to make the laziest, dullest argument possible as point of personal conservative pride.
We shall see if Texas demographics begin to reverse the tide of celebrated Republican dullardism that has turned state politicians into national laughingstocks. Republicans are highly devoted to making sure that doesn't happen, but I remain confident that at some point the party will elect someone to office who is so stone-cold stupid, such an obvious empty sack, such an impressive specimen of termite-riddled fencepost that the entire state shudders in embarrassment and begins to rethink their party lifestyle choice en masse. It would have to be someone meaner than Steve Stockman and dumber than Louie Gohmert and—well, I forget the third thing—but do not worry about that. Somewhere in Texas there is a very drunk and bitter man sleeping it off under a church pew who fits all those requirements and then some. Get to it, Republicans. Find that final mean, stupid, godbothering anti-science crank who can out-crook and under-whelm all the rest of them. It is your destiny.
