And who swore Obama in in the first place? ROBERTS. Oh God, it's all true.
Fox Host Andrea Tantaros said the "judiciary, John Roberts included, is now just the water boy for the welfare state."
Breitbart editor Ben Shapiro went for a different -- and stranger -- metaphor. He invoked a particular setting from the erotic novel Fifty Shades Of Grey.
"The Roberts Court took the ACA to its Red Room of Pain and then alternatively tortured it and made love to it until it complied," he tweeted. He added, "No need to wonder whether Chief Justice Roberts was a disastrous pick. He was. And yes, I told you so at the time."
The Milwaukee County GOP in Wisconsin asked, "Is Justice Roberts under #NSA surveillance?"
The consensus is that Chief Justice John Roberts should now be stripped of his membership in the conservative country club. He has probably been a secret liberal mole this entire time, because everyone knows the movement is doomed if they are ever subjected to a single instance of a Republican-appointed justice deciding
the wrong way on one damn case.
David Limbaugh, the author and brother of radio host Limbaugh, asked why Republicans “end up with so many Trojan Horse Supreme Court appointments.” Sean Davis, a senior editor at the conservative web site The Federalist wrote bitterly that “every fancy conservative legal foundation said Roberts was the most amazing nomination ever.”
But the single best theory, and the one that seems to be gaining the most traction among the usual dens of batshit crazy people egging each other on, was expressed by longtime batshit crazy person Wayne Allyn Root writing at—where else—Glenn Beck's
The Blaze. This decision that a law meant what pretty much every damn person in America, Republicans included, thought it meant at the time can mean only one thing—John Roberts is being blackmailed by the Obama administration. The glorious goodness, below the fold:
We're through the looking glass here, fellow nutcases.
Has Supreme Court Justice John Roberts been blackmailed or intimidated?
I would put nothing by the Obama administration that lives and rules by the Chicago thug playbook. [...]
I have felt the same way about Speaker of the House John Boehner and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell for years now. Something is wrong. All it takes to destroy America and pass Obama’s agenda is to control a few key powerful positions in Washington, D.C.
Just blackmail one or two key conservative leaders to stop the GOP from blocking Obama’s agenda. Just find out the weak link of a key opposition leader or government official and hold it over their heads. It’s that simple. Suddenly sworn lifelong conservatives are giving Obama whatever he wants – Obamacare, Trans Pacific Partnership, massive tax increases, amnesty for illegals. The list is long.
Am I being too cynical? Really? Did anyone suspect former House Speaker Dennis Hastert was a child molester who commited crimes with underage boys?
I love this theory, I truly do, and I think it deserves wider debate. It seems clear that the only reason Republican leadership are not doing the most far-right possible things (while doing a lot of things that they seem to be doing only in Wayne Root's head) is because Chief Justice John Roberts, John Boehner and Mitch McConnell are all secret child molesters and that the evil Obama has the goods on them. It's the only explanation for Republicans not doing whatever Wayne Allyn Root wants that makes sense.
Sure, let's go with that. I don't know why so many conservative deep thinkers just presume that everyone in their ranks has a secret history of raping children or lying to federal agents or shooting kittens for sport or whatever else might make congressional-level blackmail material, but hey—they know their movement better than we do.
