Kim Davis, the stalwart County Clerk from Rowan County, Kentucky, has announced that she is moving to Asheville, North Carolina along with her husband, Joe Davis.
Davis has long embraced the Biblical mandate to “love thy neighbor.”
Get your scorecard ready:
Davis has been married four times to three different men. The first three marriages ended in divorce in 1994, 2006, and 2008. She is the mother of twins, who were born five months after her divorce from her first husband. Her third husband is the biological father of the twins, who were adopted by her second husband, Joe Davis, who is also her fourth and current husband.
Got that? OK. Put away the scorecard and remember, the blood of Jesus covers a multitude of sins.
One of Davis' twin sons, Nathan, works in her office as a deputy clerk and has taken the same position of denying marriage licenses to same-sex couples. Nathan has not decided yet about the possibility of running for County Clerk in Buncomb County, North Carolina.
Evans, internationally known for her stand against the Supreme Court, and something called the Constitution, feels that her new found celebrity status needs a larger arena than the hills and hollow of Kentucky.
"I feel the hills and hollows of Western North Carolina are better suited to my new station in life," said Davis. "Asheville, North Carolina has a reputation for being a cesspool of sin," said Davis as she knelt to put a ‘Jim Forrester for President’ bumper sticker on the rusted rear bumper of her faded red pickup.
Speaking in front of her doublewide on the outskirts of town, as her husband and friends dismantled it for the TK trip across the mountains, Davis reflected on her status.
"Kentucky" has been good to me. It's been home. Only here can someone with a high school education, four husbands and a doublewide make $80,000 a year.”
Because of her position as County Clerk, Davis has met with the Pope, been honored by a stadium full of prayer warriors in Peru and has a new line of bobblehead dolls, with ‘Jesus Loves You and So Do I’ handpainted on the base, coming out in time for the holidays.
Davis plans to continue ther Quixotic spearing at everything that is wrong with the world as she joins forces with like-minded individuals in Asheville.
"I hear Mary West is doing some fine work on getting rid of the homeless in Asheville," said Davis. "I support Mary and want to stand beside her as she rids the downtown area of people who are too lazy to work and would rather rely on handouts, said Davis. “If we can shut-down the Sunday morning feedings in Pritchard Park, that will be a victory."
When asked about Jesus’ example of feeding the 5000, Davis responded, “If the homeless want free food, let them go out to the mountains like Jesus' followers did where he fed them. Downtown is no place for them.”
Davis also intends on working with Duke Energy as she continues to spread her message of love and acceptance.
"Solar power is a tool of the devil," said Davis." If God wanted us to use solar power, then why did he put all that coal in the ground?"
Davis is contemplating a move into politics in her new home.
""Those hippy, commie-loving liberal socialists, led by their chief protagonist, Cecil Bothwell, have done nothing but spread fear among the God-fearing people who want to see Asheville grow through more hotels," said Davis. "Jesus' love covers a multitude of sins and I'll be honored to stand and fight with Carl Mumpower as we put the monster of entitlements back into its proper place."
Davis, 50, plans to settle somewhere in the Kensington neighborhood before Thanksgiving.
"I want my home to be set up, the wheels off and the water hooked up by Christmas. I plan to invite all my neighbors over to show them the love of Jesus."
I hope you can recognize satire
Jerry Nelson is a freelance photojournalistwho enjoys tweaking the self-righteous, Republicans, conservatives and the one-percent. Busy on assignment in South America, Jerry is always interested in discussing future work opportunities. Email him at jandrewnelson2@gmail.com and join the half-million who follow him on Twitter.