This week, (purported) billionaire and self-professed tax avoidance specialist Donald Trump (aliases: John Miller, John Barron, Stewie Griffin) took some man-baby steps towards unifying the Republican party around his candidacy.
These moves should hardly come as a surprise to anyone who's been paying attention.
After all, Trump is a man of many talents—chief among them, his ability to surround himself with "the best people."
For proof of this, one need look no further than his slate of California delegates, which features a prominent white supremacist.
However, that's not to suggest that every Republican is ready to hop aboard the Trump train just yet.
You know who else made lists? Santa Claus.
Also, too ... Hitler.
Morning lineup:
Meet the Press: Pre-empted by English Premier League coverage.
Face The Nation: House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-WI); Rep. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN); Rep. Chris Collins (R-NY); Rep. Peter King (R-NY); Former Secretary of Defense Robert Gates; Roundtable: Jamelle Bouie (Slate), Michael Gerson (Washington Post), Julie Pace (Associated Press) & Susan Page (USA Today).
This Week: RNC Chair Reince Priebus; Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-AL); Roundtable: Dan Balz (Washington Post), Rep. Tom Cole (R-OK), Rep. Keith Ellison (D-MN) & Alicia Menendez (Fusion).
Fox News Sunday: Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich (R-GA); Rep. Tim Huelskamp (R-KS); RNC Chair Reince Priebus; Roundtable: Brit Hume (Fox News), Amy Walter (Cook Political Report), George Will (Washington Post) & Bob Woodward (Washington Post).
State of the Union: Trump Convention Manager Paul Manafort; Sen. Sherrod Brown (D-OH); Roundtable: Democratic Strategist Donna Brazile, Republican Strategist Ana Navarro, Former State Sen. Andre Bauer (R-SC) & Sen. Jeff Merkley (D-OR).
Evening lineup:
60 Minutes will feature: a report on a Duke University cancer treatment that the FDA has granted breakthrough status to (preview); and, a report on Xiaoxing Xi, the chair of Temple University's physics department, who was wrongly accused of sending American technology to China (preview).
This will be followed by a retrospective on the career of correspondent Morley Safer, who is retiring after 46 years on the air (preview).
Late night shows:
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
Monday: Actor Jason Sudeikis; Actor Michael Weatherly; Megyn Kelly (Fox News).
Tuesday: Actor Anthony Anderson; Actor Eugene Levy; Actress Catherine O'Hara; Band Coldplay.
Wednesday: Actor Josh Gad; Actress Gillian Jacobs; Rock Band Band of Horses.
Thursday: Actress Rose Byrne; Celebrity Chef Bobby Flay; Singer-Songwriter "Weird Al" Yankovic.
Friday: Actor Seth Rogen; Actress Krysten Ritter; Rock Band Wolf Parade.
The Daily Show with Trevor Noah
Monday: Actor Anthony Anderson; Tuesday: Dahlia Litwick (Slate); Wednesday: Actor Jason Sudeikis; Thursday: Arianna Huffington (Huffington Post).
Elsewhere...
Fox & Friends hosts Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy voiced their displeasure with President Obama's decision to name the bison the national mammal.
"The bald eagle may be America's national symbol but now the bison are also being elevated to the same status. President Obama naming the behemoths the national mammal, putting them on par with the bald eagle," co-host Brian Kilmeade said in introducing the segment.
"But have we forgotten why the bald eagle is America's original symbol of freedom?" co-host Steve Doocy asked, before Ainsley Earhardt introduced Al Cecere, the president of the non-profit dedicated to bald eagle rehabilitation, recovery and breeding.
Perched on Cecere's right arm was Challenger, the bald eagle who has been the public face of the foundation for more than two decades.
"How do you feel? Challenger's been buffaloed." Doocy asked.
Cecere himself did not seem too concerned with the national stature of the bird.
And, in other news from Obama's America...
Texas' efforts to secede from the Union suffered a major setback at the GOP state convention.
Texas isn't going anywhere. At least, not yet.
At the Texas Republican Convention here, state delegates met and struck a resolution from being added to the party's platform that endorses the idea of a referendum for Texans to vote to secede from the United States.
Just the fact that it got this far is pretty surprising for the Lone Star State, and shows this once grassroots movement is becoming mainstream.
The Texas Nationalist Movement has been leading the effort for 10 years to get the referendum on a ballot, and the president of the group said he won't give up.
"We want Texas to become an independent state. It's not that far-fetched of an idea," said Daniel Miller, the group's president. "This idea that people have the right of self-determination and places like Texas can assert their right of self-determination and become independent nation states is not that odd at all."
The struggle is real.
- Trix