Mr. Turner,
The first thing I read about the Stanford Rape case was a stunning and powerful statement by the victim (alias “Emily Doe”). She read it out loud in court to her rapist, your son, Brock Allen Turner. Her story made its way to social media via BuzzFeed and it went viral within days. Like millions of others, I was moved and shaken by Emily’s story. It’s one I believe every adult and teenager should read. And those who read it should be prepared to feel enraged, disgusted, shocked, sickened and saddened by her experience, and at the same time be enriched, astounded and filled with admiration for this young woman. No one should ever have to live through Emily Doe’s experience, much less re-tell it as she did, and there lies her strength and courage, Dan Turner.
The next thing I read immediately after Emily’s account was the rapist’s jail sentence: Judge Persky sentenced your son to six months time in a county jail, a few years probation, and a mandated sex-offender registration — for three sexual assault charges. Also disgusting, but not surprising given this country’s “rape culture,” especially on college campuses. College rape has become an “Oh, well. Stop partying and it won’t happen” kind of shoulder shrug to many, yet one in every five women in college has been raped. That will change and the courts will change as more women like Emily find the courage to speak out. As for Judge Persky, the California League of Women Voters began a petition to have him removed from the bench. In under a week, more than half a million people signed it.
And then I read a letter to Judge Persky by the rapist’s father. That would be you. As a parent, I could somewhat understand your wanting to express the love you have for your own son and the desire to tell the judge about his past accomplishments and good points. But as I followed along I quickly realized that you made no mention of the rape victim — the 23-year-old woman whom your son sexually assaulted. Your first paragraph told about how devastated and remorseful Brock has been, but you never mention the crime he committed. The next paragraphs were about Brock’s accomplishments as an athlete — as if that should make a difference? Given the slap-on-the-hand sentence, and Ameica’s no-fault athletic elite, some believe you accomplished your mission to influence the judge by touting your son’s athletic prowess.
Then came your final paragraph below:
“As it stands now, Brock’s life has been deeply altered forever by the events of Jan 17th and 18th. He will never be his happy go lucky self with that easy going personality and welcoming smile. His every waking minute is consumed with worry, anxiety, fear, and depression. You can see this in his face, the way he walks, his weakened voice, his lack of appetite. Brock always enjoyed certain types of food and is a very good cook himself. I was always excited to buy him a big ribeye steak to grill or to get his favorite snack for him. I had to make sure to hide some of my favorite pretzels or chips because I knew they wouldn’t be around long after Brock walked in from a long swim practice. Now he barely consumes any food and eats only to exist. These verdicts have broken and shattered him and our family in so many ways. His life will never be the one that he dreamed about and worked so hard to achieve. That is a steep price to pay for 20 minutes of action out of his 20 plus years of life. The fact that he now has to register as a sexual offender for the rest of his life forever alters where he can live, visit, work and how he will be able to interact with people and organizations. What I know as his father is that incarceration is not the appropriate punishment for Brock. He has no prior criminal history and has never been violent to anyone including his actions on the night of Jan. 17th 2015. Brock can do so many positive things as a contributor to society and it’s totally committed to educating other college age students about the dangers of alcohol, consumption and sexual promiscuity. By having people like Brock educate others on college campuses is how society can begin to break the cycle of binge drinking and its unfortunate results. Probation is the best answer for Brock in tis situation and allows him to give back to society in a net positive way.
Very respectfully,
Dan A. Turner
Dan Turner, what you just wrote at the end of your letter to the judge is comparable to a sucker punch in the stomach to every victim of rape/sexual assault. To some it’s the kind of punch that knocks the wind out of you and leaves you gasping.
You say:
“He will never be his happy go lucky self with that easy going personality and welcoming smile. His every waking minute is consumed with worry, anxiety, fear, and depression. You can see this in his face, the way he walks, his weakened voice, his lack of appetite.”
”Now he barely consumes any food and eats only to exist.”
You just described what happens to most rape victims. The difference is your son Brock was his own perpetrator. Your son Brock not only brought this plight upon himself, he thrusted it upon another innocent human being — while she was unconscious.
You say:
“These verdicts have broken and shattered him and our family in so many ways. His life will never be the one that he dreamed about and worked so hard to achieve. That is a steep price to pay for 20 minutes of action out of his 20 plus years of life. The fact that he now has to register as a sexual offender for the rest of his life forever alters where he can live, visit, work and how he will be able to interact with people and organizations.”
So a six-month jail sentence at the country jail has broken and shattered your son and your family? You’ll get over it, you all will. But your son’s victim may never fully recover. When you say Brock lost the life he once dreamed — so did Emily, but Emily Doe had no choice. You say the penalties are a steep price to pay for “20 minutes of action.” Those were his actions not hers, yet she is the one who will pay your son’s price for the rest of her life. You don’t like that Brock must register as a sex offender. Well, that’s what your son has become, just as if you kill someone you can become a murderer, or if you save someone you can become a hero — or if you go to a party down the street you can become a sexually violated rape victim. A life can change in 20 minutes and in Brock’s case, it needs to affect his work, where he lives, and his interactions. But it won’t compare with how it will affect the young woman he violated. Emily Doe, like most rape/assault victims, is experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder/PTSD which can last a lifetime. She will never again be totally trustful of anyone. It will affect her life, her work, her interactions — and without therapy and support, she will relive the pain over and over for many years. She may lose her job, her friends, her joy, and she may never have a normal relationship with a man again. How do I know this? I am one of the millions of rape survivors. But I was fortunate — I was able to find help, support and receive therapy. My life is no longer about surviving — it’s thriving. But what about the millions of victims who never tell a soul and live with the experience and the fear of being ridiculed, and raped again by the court system and society? What kind of life do they face?
Then you say:
“What I know as his father is that incarceration is not the appropriate punishment for Brock.”
Okay, now you have just sold your son and yourself to the devil, Dan Turner. No incarceration for rape/sexual assault? Perhaps many of us better understand why your son committed this crime being raised by a father who thinks boys and men should be able to rape/sexually assault girls and women without being jailed. Did I get that wrong? I don’t think so, because your next sentence reinforces my views.
You say:
“He has no prior criminal history and has never been violent to anyone including his actions on the night of Jan.17th 2015.”
(My emphasis in bold.) Even after reading this several times before, my heart is racing and my face is flustered with anger. For you, Dan Turner, to say rape and sexual assault are not violent crimes, in my opinion, you are as guilty of this crime, if not more than your son. It is people like you who perpetuate and condone the act of rape — the physical, emotional, and sometimes lethal violation of one human against another. You, Dan Turner, are part of the problem and in this one area, you just failed as a parent and as a compassionate human being.
Sincerely,
Leslie Salzillo
In Emily Doe’s statement to her rapist, she concludes with a message to “girls everywhere”. Here is that excerpt:
“And finally, to girls everywhere, I am with you. On nights when you feel alone, I am with you. When people doubt you or dismiss you, I am with you. I fought everyday for you. So never stop fighting, I believe you. Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining. Although I can’t save every boat, I hope that by speaking today, you absorbed a small amount of light, a small knowing that you can’t be silenced, a small satisfaction that justice was served, a small assurance that we are getting somewhere, and a big, big knowing that you are important, unquestionably, you are untouchable, you are beautiful, you are to be valued, respected, undeniably, every minute of every day, you are powerful and nobody can take that away from you. To girls everywhere, I am with you. Thank you.”
And we are with you. Thank you, Emily Doe.
If you or someone you know is, or has ever been, a victim of rape/sexual assault, there is help. You can find free support via the National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800.656.HOPE (4673) and/or by visiting the Rape, Abuse Incest National Network/online.RAINN.org. If you are in immediate danger, please call 911. And if you can hold on to one thing, remember this — It’s not your fault.