As Republicans sat down on Monday, they were concerned about the length of the draft GOP platform. At 33,000 words, the document had wandered well away from a statement of principles and into the realm of a novella. So, before the platform committee broke into smaller groups for the next pass, there were several pleas to simplify and shorten the platform.
Eh …. not so much.
Kris Kobach, the secretary of state of Kansas, proposed an amendment to oppose the federal government including the prairie chicken and sage grouse as a part of its endangered animals list.
“We’re not the party of the anti-prairie chickens,” said one delegate, who opposed the amendment for getting too in the weeds on a local issue.
Yes. Yes, you are. Kobach’s anti-chicken plank passed. As did another that said animals “such as the grey wolf” should not be included in the Endangered Species Act.
Other critical issues covered? Do regular Oreos count as junk food, or are only chocolate-covered Oreos junk food? Does ginger ale count as soda? All of this discussed as part of the broader discussion on whether poor people should be forced to buy only food that Republicans approve. Though that discussion came after Republicans had already decided that the SNAP program was “unconstitutional.”
Oh, and of course Republicans found room in their platform to keep transgender people from using the bathroom.
Delegate Annie Dickerson argued that wading into such a specific issue “takes us to a place where our convention is about bathrooms.” But her colleague, Melody Potter from West Virginia, disagreed. “I believe it’s time for Republicans to take a stand on it,” she said. “It’s a safety issue.”
Yeah. It’s in there. So is this.
You can watch that beautiful moment when coal became clean thanks to C-Span.
There is also a platform plank that demands the federal government “return” federal lands to the states. And that states get veto power over national parks, monuments, and wilderness areas.
And if you had any question why all these things are in there, here’s your ever-handy Kansas Secretary of State.
“Fluffy principles are fine, but you also need specifics,” Kobach told Yahoo News. He said that though many people call the platform a symbolic document, it serves as a baseline list of principles and policies that are defined as conservative. “It helps the voters discern who the real Republican is,” he said.
The real Republican is the one who hates prairie chickens, wolves and national parks, thinks coal is clean, and wants transgender people to just damn well hold it.
That’s not me saying that. That’s the Republican platform.