Let's take a deep dive into this Trump family portrait

I know this photo has been floating around for several weeks, but I can’t let it go. It haunts my dreams. It haunts my waking moments. It mesmerizes me. I can’t turn away, coming back to it again and again. Let us count the ways the photo above is creepy, weird, bizarre, and ridiculous. 

• We can debate all day whether the decor is “gauche chic” or “petty dictator chic,” but really people, it’s both. 
• Donald is smiling, his son Barron is … sad and lonely way out there in the hinterlands, and Melania is working on her best Blue Steel. They are just like us!
• Credit given where credit is due—they didn’t want anyone mistaking any glimmer of “love” in this family, and they succeeded! 
• I won’t lie, that gulf between parents and son breaks my heart. 
• Trump had no problem taking photos with his female daughter on his lap!
• Little Barron is being prepped for the day he illegally hunts and kills big game.
• Fun fact: That’s Chris Christie dressed up as a toy lion!
• They have the kid play with toy limos. And guys, it’s important for everyone else to know that, so let’s get the toy limos into the shot!
• Trump apparently carts that throne around everywhere he goes.
• The über-rich even get their own micro breezes, targeting Melania’s dress and nothing else!
• Someone get gold leaf on that living plant, STAT!

What else do you guys see?