Erroneous initial records of the National Weather Service, plus unreliable observations of those in attendance and the lying cameras of the dishonest media, showed clouds with an intermittent light rain during the inauguration event.
The administration has now provided definitive information about the actual weather conditions, and agencies are working hard to correct their errors.
“God looked down and, and he said we’re not going to let it rain on your speech.. . .The truth is it stopped immediately,” clarified President Trump, who also notified citizens about the downpour which occurred directly after the ceremony was completed.
Correcting the false information about the weather has now become a top priority of the administration during its second full day. The administration is pursuing an assertive and nationally unifying approach to the update on several fronts.
A National Weather Service spokesman described the process of correcting the errant weather records. “It’s part of a huge effort we already have underway, working through a set of fake data sites to correct temperature records for the past few decades,” he said. “We’re making the temperature graph great again, and it’s going to be a beautiful thing. The inauguration weather is just a few extra data points. And the extra rain from the afternoon downpour is going to be good news for water supplies and for agriculture.”
A look at the NWS site showed signs of the overhaul, which included terminology modernizations as well. The word “showers” has been removed from all forecasts, while the historical record has been scrubbed of this outdated term entirely for certain cities including Golden, Colorado.
Meanwhile, administration officials fanned out to push back on the persistent efforts of the media to mislead. KellyAnne Conway, special advisor to the President on truthful things, lauded mainstream media sites Breitbart and RT.com for their prompt action to set the record straight, but cautioned that “CNN and other fake news networks are deliberately trying to undermine the legitimacy of this administration by reporting inauguration weather at odds with the official information provided to them.”
Press Secretary Sean Spicer provided one of his Spicer Facts that citizens everywhere have come to know and love. “There was sunshine during the inauguration, then heavy rain after. Period. If anyone in media provides false information on this, they'll be held accountable by having to sit facing the corner of the press room for at least three days.”
Reince Preibus added to Fox News, “The media shouldn’t be reporting on this story. They need to keep their focus where it belongs. They’re completely dropping the ball on Hillary’s emails.”
Patriotic Americans all pitched in to help. “When I said the rain during the inauguration was a symbol of God’s blessing,” explained Franklin Graham, “I was referring to the rain that fell after the inauguration was complete.”
The most important effort, now in process, is to locate each of the 1.5 million people who were in attendance and brief each person on the updated weather conditions, securing agreement on the true information. Images from phones and cameras will also be updated to portray the correct weather and to make sure all images fully capture the entire number of attendees who were present at the event.
“This operation serves multiple purposes,” Homeland Security Director John F. Kelly explained. “Later this year we’ll be doing large scale exercises of locating and bringing in groups of several million people at a time for key national security purposes, so this is a great opportunity to check out our systems. In addition, it will be great for identifying likely terrorists — people who don’t cooperate fully and agree with the updates.”
Everyone has a part of play as a citizen. If you become aware of any person promoting an anti-American agenda by sharing false weather information about inauguration day, it is your patriotic duty to immediately call 1-800-RATF*CK or email ratf*ck@whitehouse.gov.
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Note: Trump really did say those things about inauguration weather, and yes they were, you know, alternative facts.
Transcript
IT WAS ALMOST RAINING. BUT GOD LOOKED DOWN AND SAID WE ARE NOT GOING TO RAIN ON YOUR SPEECH. WHEN I FIRST STARTED I SAID, OH NO, THE FIRST LINE I GOT HIT BY A COUPLE OF DROPS. THIS WAS TOO BAD, BUT WE WILL GO RIGHT THROUGH IT. BUT THE TRUTH IS IT STOPPED IMMEDIATELY, IT WAS AMAZING. AND THEN IT WALKED OFF AND IT POURED AFTER I LEFT.
WaPo: www.washingtonpost.com/…
Light rain continued to fall through the first few minutes of the speech — and VIP’s at the dais took out ponchos, including former president George W. Bush — and then quit. Trump said there was a downpour right after he finished, which did not occur.
The rest of the diary is not factually accurate — yet.
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James Wells is the author of The Great Symmetry, a science fiction novel that celebrates the freedom of ideas. www.thegreatsymmetry.com (eBook on Amazon)