I have agonized for 2 days over the writing of this, my first diary. I am a bit of a shy person and want this to be worthy of the love, kindness and generosity of the good folks I have met on this site — so here it goes…
I do not know what year I actually found this site in my search for like-minded individuals but it has been a while. I lurked in the background reading the musings and the rantings of others concerned about this world and what we can do to fix it. I found people that had very strong opinions and some that, like me, only threw a comment or two when they felt the need. In my search, I also found a diary that kept to the lighter side of all things living through humor, camaraderie and images to make anyone with a heart smile. The PWB Peeps drew me in. It took me a bit to realize that this diary of joy posted every single day under different headings but I finally caught on and realized that this daily adventure into the lives of our beloved pets was the brain child of one amazing person, Tricia, the Pootie Queen.
At that time, my son and I were full time caretakers for my mother. Dementia was taking her and she grew into a person we did not know. She became angry and unkind and the living was not easy. In that time I found that ray of hope and humor that is The Peeps. They saved my sanity many days but I remained a lurker. I remember well the day I read that Tricia had passed from this world. My heart literally broke. I had never had such strong feelings for a person whom I had never met — or even talked to — in life. I had to reach out to those she left behind. I was welcomed so warmly and we all grieved together in this space. I belonged.
I have always worked and been able to manage my life and still help others occasionally that had hit a rough patch in theirs. This March that suddenly changed. I was laid off without warning. I have always suffered with depression but this sent me into a tailspin from which I could not pull out. I disappeared from this site and life in general. As things got progressively worse, I realized that I had to get back in touch with those who had helped me stay afloat before. I was facing eviction. Once again they have pulled me out of the darkness.
After contacting our acting Pootie Princess, The Marti, and the 2nd Peep who welcomed me so warmly, the wonderful BfitzinAR, they put things in motion to help me rise from the ashes and stay in my home. Within 48 hours of my confession, I had enough to pay my rent. When I realized on Thursday morning that through the kindness and generosity of many individuals I could make the payment instead of packing, I sat at my kitchen table and wept.
This, my first diary, is to thank all of you who helped me to come back to the realization that there IS still good in this world. Like many others, I lost hope after the disastrous events of last November which plunged our world into chaos. I have felt the growing presence of hate and intolerance with grief and trepidation. But this — this beacon of light, love and healing — allows me to know that all is not lost. We of the good hearts are still reaching out to make this world better through random acts of kindness and the profession of our belief that we can rise up individually and as a force together.
You — all of you — have helped me to climb out of my own cloud of grief so that I may once again contribute to the good that will prevail. For this, I publicly thank you. My heart is full once again.