From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
What Made Trump Look Like An Even Bigger Jackass in August
This month's contribution to Bullshit Mountain:
Rabbis
His hat
His son
Geography
This winery
His mafia ties
His son-in-law
His pardon pen
Blonde women
New Hampshire
The solar eclipse
The White House
One-syllable words
His meager crowds
His own racist mouth
The Statue of Liberty
His Secretary of State
The Boy Scouts (again)
His “good news” fluffer
His arts advisory council
The president of Finland
CNN reporter Jim Acosta
Neo-Nazi Sebastian Gorka
His business advisory councils
White Supremacist Steve Bannon
His infrastructure advisory council
But Obama once wore a tan suit.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold...[Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, August 31, 2017
Note: Just a heads-up---there will be no C&J on Labor Day, so you'll have to cobble your own together out of Spam, dryer lint and tinfoil. Please submit complaints to the proper authorities. Or just think them in your head and the NSA will transmit them to the proper authorities free of charge.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til autumn: 22
Days 'til the Sausalito Art and Wine Festival: 2
Percent increase in the frequency of intense downpours around Houston since the 1950s: 167%
Percent of Democrats, independents, and Republicans, respectively, who say they're concerned about climate change, according to a Qunnipiac poll: 95%, 76%, 43%
Percent of U.S. voters who say they like the way Trump conducts himself as president, according to a new Pew poll: 16%
Number of ring crosses the Cassini space probe has left to go with Saturn before it dives to its timely demise on September 15: 2
Current ocean temperature off the Portland, Maine coast: 60
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
At the mythical Fearmonger's Shoppe ("Serving all your phobia needs") in Lake Wobegon last week, there was a special on ways to prevent your early death from the frightful menace of bad handwriting by doctors.
A puzzled pharmacist studies an impenetrable prescription and mutters: "Hmm, hmm, looks like 50 milligrams arsenic ... odd. ... Oh well" and you go home. In eight hours, you're lying in a huge refrigerator and your family is planning the memorial service.
Poor penmanship among doctors is estimated to cause as many as 198,000 deaths a year. I bring this up because my reaction to this wonderful whimsy was, "I bet it's happened." And that brings us to the most useful paranoia in our public life: growing concerns about privacy.
---August 2005
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Shove off…
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CHEERS to turning off the waterworks. Louisiana and states north and east still have to face the brunt of H20 mega-bomb Harvey. But at least it's finally stopped deluging in Texas, especially around the area of Houston Island. Port Arthur, north and east, still took a beating yesterday. It was so bad that even the shelters designed to keep people safe from flooding had to be evacuated because of…well…
As emergency crews, relief agencies, volunteers from far & wide, good Samaritans and, yes, the indispensable federal government continue working 24/7 to keep victims safe, housed and fed, the rest of us can keep up our financial support of the effort. Joan McCarter posted a helpful Act Blue page with a menu of A+ organizations that you can donate to with a few clicks. You'll find it here. I'm always up for supporting the diaper banks. As a former flood victim myself, I know how important protective headgear is during a crisis.
CHEERS to order in the court. Some gavel-worthy developments that were just tossed into the judicial hopper in the hopes that Lady Justice might wave her magic wand over it and conjure up favorable rulings:
>> Two groups (the ACLU and OutServe-SLDN/Lambda Legal) are suing the White House over Trump's ridiculous ban on transgender service in the military. Both claim that the ban "is a violation of equal protection and due process; the Lambda lawsuit also says it violates free speech protections."
>> The Supreme Court says it wants to see written arguments by the state of Mississippi justifying its continued use of the confederate battle emblem in its official snot rag…er, flag. An attorney is suing to have the emblem removed because it's an "unconstitutional relic of slavery."
>> The Ninth Circuit Court may deal another blow to Trump's racist Muslim-targeted travel ban by expanding the universe of relatives who qualify as having a “credible, bona fide relationship” with a U.S. citizen or entity. One judge, noting that Trump wants to ban grandparents, said: “In what universe does that come from?”
I believe that planet is called Hisanus.
JEERS to wearing your Puritan heart on your 17th-century topcoat sleeve. Oh, just what 2017 needs: a finger-wagging god squad barging into America's bedroom again and throwing a rule book for sexytime on our nightstands:
A coalition of over 150 evangelical leaders released a manifesto on Tuesday reiterating their belief that marriage should be between a man and a woman.
Titled the “Nashville Statement,” the document also asserts that God created two distinct sexes, that sex should only occur within the bounds of heterosexual marriage, and that “it is sinful to approve of homosexual immorality or transgenderism.”
The statement emerged out of a meeting convened by the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood on Friday at the Southern Baptist Convention’s Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission’s annual conference in Nashville. It consists of 14 statements of affirmation and denial relating to human sexuality.
Fearless prediction: half of those piouser-than-thou creeps will eventually be caught hoarding child porn, committing adultery, or paying for gay sex. Coincidentally, I've issued my own "Nash Bill Statement" on sexual conduct. It reads: "Hey, Nashville Statement! Blow me."
CHEERS to seeing things close-up. On this date in 1842, the U.S. Naval Observatory was created by an act of Congress. (What? Congress actually did something useful? Ma, fetch the smelling salts!) Their first weekly report was brief: "We see London. We see France. We see President Tyler's underpants! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!" Now you know why he scowled so much.
JEERS to today's edition of Well, THAT Seems To be Going Swell! We take you to Israel…
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's vow to never evacuate Jewish settlements from occupied land drew outrage Tuesday from Palestinians and complicated matters for the Trump administration's would-be peace envoys as they try to restart talks.
[…]The Palestinians say that settlements on occupied lands are illegal and undermine the goal of a two-state solution by gobbling up territory they seek —a position that is widely backed by the international community. […] Netanyahu appears to have been emboldened by the election of President Donald Trump, who, unlike a string of predecessors, has not endorsed the idea of a two-state solution.
This has been today's edition of Well, THAT Seems To be Going Swell!
CHEERS to historic ringy-dingies. Happy Emma Nutt Day! On this date in 1878, the first female telephone operator in the U.S.---the aforementioned Mrs. Nutt---started working for the Telephone Dispatch Company of Boston. She was brought in after the existing operators---a bunch of male telegraph tappers who turned into snotty unhelpful little twits when they started talking to actual people---were fired. And on tomorrow's date in 1878 they used those skills to form the first cable company customer service call center.
JEERS to the need for speed. On August 31, 1997, Princess Diana died after her car hit a concrete barrier in a Paris tunnel while being pursued by paparazzi. We have two quick observations on this, the 20th anniversary of her death. 1) What a tragedy. 2) Twenty years ago? Where does the time go? Holy mackerel, I was just a freckle-faced kid twenty years ago. But mostly the tragedy part.
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Ten years ago in C&J: August 31, 2007
JEERS to the warmongers. If Juan Cole's sources are correct, Dick Cheney and his Orcs in the conservative media are preparing for an all-out September assault on the hearts and minds of Americans in advance of war with Iran. Unfortunately for them, the IAEA says Iran is cooperating with them, and is producing less nuclear fuel than expected. And in other news, Dick Cheney and his Orcs in the conservative media are preparing for an all-out assault on the IAEA. (Does this ever end?)
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And just one more…
CHEERS to Minty freshness. "The new America the Beautiful State Quarter is here! The new America the Beautiful State Quarter is here!!!" The latest in the series, which celebrates America's national monuments, got its official release yesterday, and represents the foreign and exotic land known as "New Jersey." And won’t Trump be thrilled when he sees what's featured on this one: dirty moocher immigrant terrorists! Here's sculptor Phoebe Hemphill with a few words about the design…
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Naturally, New York tried to piss on the design by suggesting that the choice of Ellis Island proves that, in the words of Congressman Peter King (R-NY), “They are always trying to imitate us. They live in our shadow, and now they are trying to make believe they are New York.” Responded New Jersey: "Yeah, but only because our giant middle finger pointed at New York doesn’t yet count as a national monument." But they’re working on it.
Have a nice Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"Contrary to popular belief, increased consumption of Cheers and Jeers is associated with a lower risk of death."
---Mahshid Dehghan, McMaster University
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