I know you’re worried about this Ukraine stuff, Senators. It’s put a real crimp in your plans. But this should all blow over by the 4th of July. You can still enjoy the Bolshoi and rub elbows with Putin’s gang of mafia oligarchs and their stooges (the ones who are still alive, that is). Seriously, go ahead and book your tickets, just like you did four years ago. The American people will understand.
After all, as Sen. Ron Johnson put it, it's all about “freedom.” Seriously, what better way to express your freedom than hop on a jet and spend America’s independence day in sunny Moscow?
As Dana Milbank, writing for the Washington Post, commented at the time:
For the Wisconsin Republican, it meant, specifically, the freedom to spend July 4 in Moscow with seven other Republican lawmakers posing for propaganda photos with Russian officials. On the same day it was reported in Britain that two more people had been poisoned by a Russian nerve agent British officials say came from Vladimir Putin’s regime. On the day after the Senate Intelligence Committee affirmed the U.S. intelligence community’s conclusion that Russia interfered in the election to help Donald Trump.
You didn’t get to see Putin that day, but I have it on good authority he’ll be waiting with open arms for your arrival this summer.
And hey, that 2018 trip wasn’t a total bust. C’mon—y’all have pictures, right?
Johnson and his colleagues apparently exercised their freedom not to meet with opposition or civil society figures (those whom the Putin regime has not imprisoned or killed), avoiding the risk of offending their hosts. They also exercised their freedom to soft-pedal their criticism of the Russian government, leading Russian politicians and state media to mock them as supplicants.
And you gotta admit, the caviar went down so well with that smooth Russian vodka. It’s like syrup—nothing like the watery stuff we get here. It creeps up on you fast if you’re not careful. And those girls serving it, well, ‘nuff said, huh? What a cool trip! Wish you made transcripts but hey, you were busy!
As Milbank wrote:
Their excellent adventure included a ballet performance of “Sleeping Beauty,” and fairy-tale notions pervaded their official meetings, too. “I’m not here today to accuse Russia of this or that or so forth,” Shelby told Duma Speaker Vyacheslav Volodin. “I’m saying that we should all strive for a better relationship.”
You remember when (between those toasts!) you politely asked your pals in Putin’s rubber-stamp Duma “to exit Ukraine and allow Ukraine to self-determine?” They all smiled, slapped you on the back and said, “sure.” Boy, you stood up for your country there!
Shelby, with you I get it. You used to be a Democrat, after all, but you managed to flip sides without much fuss. I’m sure the thought of spending the 4th in Moscow as the guest of the Russian government didn’t bother you much. Hell, they barely noticed it back in ‘Bamy, amirite? You go, tough guy!
Johnson, well, your actions have spoken for themselves a hundred times over now. Daines, Hoeven, Kennedy, Thune, Moran, well, look, I understand. These are billionaires we’re talking about plugging into. Russian money is a big deal. And we folks at home are just …. little people.
So go ahead and book your trip (I’d stay away from Aeroflot). And you know that little box that asks you if you want travel insurance?
Yeah, check that box.