The conservative industrial grift complex is in full gear, always trying to take advantage of the latest outrage of the moment to separate the dumbest from their money.
Meet the new anti-woke beer:
This joker’s bio says he’s “[o]n a mission to help conservatives unlearn the Gov lies about food, lose weight, & get in shape!” Well, nothing helps people lose weight and get in shape like alcohol!
Bud Light costs around $6 for a six-pack. No offense if you drink it, but it’s shit beer. The better stuff will cost around $10 for a six-pack. The best stuff might be around $15. But there’s a problem with all those beers: They might be woke. You don’t know who brewed them, who those brewers voted for, or even if the brewery has a—gasp!—all-gender bathroom! Who wants that risk?
Well, UltraRight beer has you covered. It’s explicitly not woke, which is a breath of fresh air when ingesting those delicious empty calories. And sure, it comes at a cost premium, but it’s so worth it when you think about all the wokeness you don’t have to worry about accidentally imbibing.
What is the premium? Well, the six-pack costs $19.99. Kind of.
You see, you can’t buy this beer at stores, because that requires actual business acumen—working with distributors, adhering to local regulations, etc. So it can only be purchased via mail, and there is no free shipping coupon here.
So yes, a six-pack of not-woke beer might cost you a hefty $34.31, or almost $6 per can, but you can’t deny the value! And that’s not including the stupid T-shirt they try to get you to buy in the process:
So how many people can actually afford this nonsense?
You have two options and two options only: You can “trans the kids” (whatever that means, but I’m sure it’s scary), or you can spend $34.31 on a six-pack and protect the children. Sure, that might be $100 if you invite a few friends over, but freedom isn’t free, buddy, no matter how many haters want to hate.
There is just one reason why anyone would buy Bud Light: because it’s cheap. This isn’t a replacement, no matter how much deplorable grifters claim it is. But they are really invested in their new “go woke, go broke” movement, despite the fact that not a single company they’ve targeted has gone broke. The conservative fringe simply doesn’t have that much purchasing power, or raw numbers, to make a meaningful difference on any company’s bottom line.
Conservatives are currently claiming that Budweiser has lost BILLIONS because of their sad little boycott, yet the stock price doesn’t point to any serious consequences:
That’s a 0.55% drop in the past week, otherwise known as a “blip.” All will go back to normal when the Neanderthals move on to their next outrage. (Right now, they’re starting to get pissed at Nike again.)
Even their own propagandists know it’s all bullshit. Matt Walsh noted that “’Go woke go broke’ is the lamest right wing cope of all time. It's not even close to true.” But he wishes it was true, as he cries about conservative setbacks in the culture war.
The Left has taken away all of the neutral cultural ground. This is why brands like Bud Light and Nike are giving endorsement deals to a dude in a dress. In the past, a beer company could basically be culturally neutral. But the Left has declared that you are either with them or against them. The "silence is violence" principle. So the brands have a choice. They can be baptized into wokeism and openly worship at the LGBT altar, or they can by default align themselves with conservatives. What do they do? Well, the Left will do everything in their power (and they have a lot of power) to make them pay dearly for disloyalty. Piss off the Right, on the other hand, and you'll have to deal with some angry tweets and then nothing else will happen. It's an easy choice.
It’s twisted how they think that tolerance for the sake of tolerance is “worshiping at the LGBT altar.” Yet this bizarre worldview is the reason they’re losing. A recent USA Today/Ipsos poll found that “a majority of Americans are inclined to see the word as a positive attribute, not a negative one.” Indeed, “Fifty-six percent of those surveyed say the term means ‘to be informed, educated on, and aware of social injustices.’ That includes not only three-fourths of Democrats but also more than a third of Republicans.”
Conservatives used to be masters at controlling the terms of their culture war debates. Today, they are hyperventilating over a word that only 39% of Americans think is a bad thing. They are literally arguing that companies should go broke if they are “educated on and aware of social injustices.”
Objectively, conservatives and the Republican Party are branding themselves as the party of injustice. It’s truly a marvel to behold.
It is equally funny to see Walsh cry that “[t]he Left has taken away all of the neutral cultural ground,” given that it’s conservatives that decided to claim the American flag as their own, politicized religion, demonized the LGBTQ community, and even smashed Dixie Chicks CDs when the country music trio spoke out against the Iraq War. Bill O’Reilly, from his perch on Fox News, railed daily against companies he considered insufficiently conservative. Here he is in 2003 boycotting Pepsi for hiring rapper Ludacris.
Interestingly, Pepsi did drop Ludacris. The boycott worked. O’Reilly also got JetBlue to drop a sponsorship of the liberal activist conference Netroots Nation. Conservatives loved their culture war boycotts when they owned the space, and liberals were unable or unwilling to fight back. But now that the playing field has been leveled and notions of tolerance and acceptance are ascendent and majority opinion, conservatives are having their tantrum.
So is it liberals’ fault that everything is a cultural battleground? Nah. People just want to live their lives free of hatred and bigotry. If Budweiser wants to advertise at a monster truck rally in Redneck County, Tennessee (or whatever), no liberal gives a damn. If they want to advertise to liberal-leaning groups, that’s cool too. Who cares?
As long as conservatives keep making their movement about beer cans, Dr. Seuss, sexy M&M candies, and all that other nonsense, they’ll keep losing ground with the American voters that have already delivered those conservatives three election defeats in a row.