From the State of Florida Department Of You Cannot Make This Stuff Up, It Is The Actual Truth.
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Well, in an attempt to re-gain some stature in the Republican Scare World the sorely craven-for-attention Ron DeSantis signed Florida state bill, SB1264, which requires mandatory teaching on the evils of Communism in grades kindergarten through the 12th grade.
It passed 106 Yeas to 7 Nays and was signed by Governor A-Doo-Ron-Ron DeSantis on April 17, 2024, a day that will go down in, well, if not infamy, then in infantile behavior.
Yep, you got it, little five-year-old Liam or Amelia will now learn, starting in kindergarten and all the way through their high school senior year, that there’s a commie under every bed and that it’s better to be dead than red. Whoa, the Red Scare is back, so put that in your see-thru backpack with ballistic plate. It’s all about Marxmanship, eh, Ron?
Ooh, if you can make it scary enough it might even stunt their childhood growth. Cool, huh? In twenty years the population of Florida could look like it’s overran with deeply-tanned elves in cargo shorts and tank tops. Although there is a silver lining, smaller bodies do mean you can get by with the trial sizes of your favorite sunscreen. Make it scary enough and a six-ounce bottle could last through to their first chapter book. Hell, a full-size bottle might even take them all the way to prom. And, yes, I’ve heard that if that can’t there’s a certain U.S. House of Representative that will.
So once again, Floridian Republicans excel at giving you more reasons to Stand Your Ground With Your Trigger Finger Up Your Breech, and now you have another, although I’m worried about some confusion, namely that the traditional color of Communism is red and the tradition color of MAGA is red. Do we not see a problem here, Ron?
Normally, in hunting seasons you wear a distinctive color, such as safety orange, so that other hunters don’t mistake you for prey, such as deer, caribou, highway road signs, Democrats, Daily Kos tow truck diaries or the such. But, while you’ll be painting the state red with suspicions, what are your ballcapped cadre wearing? Red. What’s a governor to do? You couldn’t remove those hats off their heads with a pry bar the size of that panhandle. Oh, well.
You know, isn’t it enough that in Florida you’ve got to worry about rising sea levels, stronger force hurricanes, tornadoes, algae shag carpeting covering the beaches, insane insurance costs, essential workers skipping town, sinkholes in your state legislature and fifteen male pythons trying to mate with your garden hose, to be worrying people about something so toothless it ranks below dust bunnies in threatening behavior?
But you know the score, right, Ron. Give them what they want. More red meat.
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Source: www.orlandosentinel.com/...