My dad is a bigot. A racist. A xenophobe. It kills me to say these things, but it's a truth that I've finally had to come to accept. No, he's not running around burning crosses, but his brand of intolerance is every bit as repugnant as the Klan's.
What makes it worse in my opinion, is that it hasn't always been so. Over the last 5 years, I've watched his mind grow narrower and narrower as he's been indoctrinated into the Fox News/Republican way of "thinking."
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Though a lifelong Republican, he's always been a "live and let live," dope-smoking old hippie. But he's let Bush's fearmongering completely warp his thinking. Whereas I'd never heard him utter a racial epithet in my life, he now slings out "raghead" and "camel jockey" with regularity.
I used to enjoy spending time with him. We'd go see movies, hang out and watch the game, talk about books and music or whatever came to mind. Now, I make excuses to avoid spending time with him. And if I can't get out of it, I find myself counting the minutes until my familial obligation has been fulfilled and I can leave.
Some people tell me to just avoid talking politics with him. I've tried. Oftentimes, he can't resist needling and baiting me and then I can't resist telling him what an ignorant moron he is. Shortcomings on both our parts, to be sure. Even when we are able to avoid political discussions, there is still a very palpable tension between us. It's made for some very uncomfortable family holidays. And it's because we both know that he stands on one side of the divide and I on the other.
I hardly think my story is unique. As I look at how fractured this country has become under Bush's "leadership," I'm sure that more than a few families have found themselves... strained. Some people will say that we are taking things too seriously, that blood is always thicker than water. But is it? How do we reconcile the fact that somebody we love stands for that which we find morally, ethically and spiritually repugnant? How are we supposed to come to terms with the fact that what they think is right and good, we know to be wrong and evil? How do we deal with the fact that we've lost all respect for a loved one?
The divides in this country are deeper than I've ever seen them in my lifetime. I'm 32, so take that for what it's worth. But as I look at the state of our nation, I see how fractured we are. We no longer seem to be Americans, we're liberals or conservatives, red or blue. And I wonder, when the reign of King George comes to an end, (because this nightmare has to end sometime, right?) how are we going to pick up the pieces? How are we going to go about healing this country? How are we going to go about healing our own families? Can some things be healed with time? Or will there forever be an unspoken tension between those of us on opposite sides of the divide?
