it's Sad who's sane beard growing contest

My problem was when they pulled Sad out of his hole, his beard was way too long.
He'd been interviewed by Rather (rummy's Taos roomy) just nine months before and was clean shaven at the time. Not to mention he was seen mulling around with his buddies a few days after shock and awe in Baghdad. His image was for sale, by that time, in every costume shop in the world, though.
I've grown alot of beards in my day and even after a couple of years it don't get as long and skraggely as Sad's was when they checked him for fleas on worldwide TV.
 

Anyway, to ease my fears that we may have been duped by one of Sad's doubles ( from Langely) I've decided to host a contest to see if there is a way to grow a beard that fast, diet or lack of sleep or drugs or glue. Forget the glue bit.
Rules;

1. Hair must be your own. You may not steal hair from American mass graves in Iraq.
   
2. You must mail me a photo of your clean shaven face next to tomorrows newspaper. Wait, we won't use a newspaper, we'll use the Washington Times.
   
3. If Sad actually reads this and enters the contest himself, all bets are off.
   
4. Condi Rice may not enter contest. She has more hair on her balls than Sad ever had in his beard.
   
5. Laura Bush has the final word on the winner.
   

Her high school boyfriend has been eliminated for obvious reasons.
All prizes to be announced later and rewarded on the day after US troop withdrawl and Sad's reinstatement as President.