Friends, has this ever happened to you?
You hear about some new:
outrage/betrayal/lie/injustice/monumental stupidity
committed by:
corporations/politicians/lying television personalities
and are seized with:
loathing/rage/terror/disgust/despair?
If so, then friend, you are a victim of liberal panic, an all-to-common disorder brought about by a combination of deep feelings of social responsibility and an overload of news sources.
But today is your lucky day! Because thanks to advances in medical science (and the invention of the Internet) a cure to liberal panic can be yours! That's right, this laboratory tested remedy is easy-to-use and guaranteed to work. This is the VERY SAME cure that famous progressives like Mother Jones, Martin Luther King Jr., and Big Bill Haywood used when they were feeling the onset of liberal panic.
And best of all- it's absolutely FREE! (Plus $29.95 for shipping and handling.)
To find out about this miracle cure for liberal panic, just read on.
This miracle cure is so easy to use, you'll wonder how you ever lived without it. It consists of one simple fact, one basic truth proven time and again. The simple fact?
We always win, they always lose.
That's right, folks, it's just that simple: we always win, they always lose.
But, Richieville, you say, how can that be so? It can't be as simple as that. How come I haven't heard about this before?
You haven't heard about it before because the forces of conservatism (and the makers of anti-depressants) don't want you to know about it. They need to maintain the illusion that they have a chance in hell of holding back the progressive movement otherwise they'd all have to just quit and go home.
Now, I can hear you asking, Richieville, do you really mean to say we always win? They always lose? What's the catch?
But friends, there's is no catch! The simple fact is, if you take even a quick glance at the history books, progressives have won every single battle we have engaged in and conservatives have lost every one. In fact, you might say that a conservative, by definition, is someone who is on the losing side of history, because a conservative is someone who defends the status quo - something that just cannot last.
Now, folks, that doesn't mean we always win right away. Sometimes it takes years, sometimes decades. But we still win. If you don't believe me, take a look at the record book. How far back to you want to go?
Slavery?
Women's right to vote?
Ending child labor?
Minimum wage, social security and the New Deal?
The right to a union?
Civil rights, equality and an end to Jim Crow?
The environmental movement?
The fight for women's equality?
In each and every case, conservatives bitterly opposed progressives on these issue and in each case - they lost!
Oh, yes, don't forget -
Health care as a right.
and
Gay rights - which they are in the process of losing.
Why do conservatives lose every time? Because they are on the wrong side of history. (Maybe that's why they tried to declare that "end of history" a while back.)
Now we know that even after they lose, conservatives never give up trying to destroy what we have won. And we know that some of these battles are still going on. But the fact remains that once we have won - once a progressive position, idea or program has been established and accepted into the mainstream -it can never be taken away!
Remember, these same conservatives who today bitterly attack the idea that health care is a right, also bitterly attacked the idea that women needed equal rights, or that the environment needed protecting. These ideas are now accepted at every end of the political spectrum. And though they still hate they idea of social security and now and then float ideas that would effectively gut it, all of their attacks have to be couched as ways to "save" the very thing they hate.
But, Richieville, you ask, if the cure to liberal panic is so simple, why do I feel liberal panic at all? Why do I always feel like we are about to be crushed by the forces of big business, right-wing reaction and stupidity?
Well, friend, you have cleverly gotten right to the heart of liberal panic. The fact is that although we win every battle - we are never in power! And though conservatives lose every battle - they are always in power!
This doesn't mean that conservatives always have a majority in Congress or control the White House. They certainly don't at this moment. But in a broader sense, conservatives forces, as defenders of the status quo, are always the ones with their hands on the levers and institutions of power - money, financial institutions, the media, political parties and the government. (Although I believe we are living through a time when the elite in this country are split - with some defending the status quo and others seeing the need for change. But that's a topic for another diary.)
So no wonder it's easy to feel outnumbered. But DON'T PANIC! Just remember the cure for liberal panic is always at hand. Just repeat, "We Always Win - They Always Lose"