Let’s Check the Ukraine Relief Tote Board
It’s been a few weeks since we checked in on the Daily Kos relief fund for Ukraine. As of this morning, you’ve generously donated a whopping…
$3,743,637.35
Nice! As our government finally approves crucial military aid, the money from this fund goes toward just-as-crucial humanitarian purposes in Ukraine.
If you'd like to add to the total for the four chosen groups—the World Central Kitchen, AmeriCares, Razom for Ukraine, and the International Fund for Animal Welfare—click here and ActBlue will help you take care of the rest. Many thanks.
We now return you to the T-72 flying-turret frisbee championship currently in progress.
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, April 23, 2024
Note: Due to a clerical error, Tuesday's child is no longer "full of grace" but rather "doomed to be flattened by a falling piano." Also the espresso machine is out of order. —Mgt.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Mother's Day: 19
Days 'til Hawaii's Waikiki Spam Jam: 4
Percent of the 3,600 workers at the VW plant in Chattanooga who voted in favor of unionizing: 73%
Hospitalizations for Covid-19 last week: 5,899
Increase in vinyl record sales last year, totaling $1.4 billion: 10%
Number of independent record stores in the U.S.: 1,400
Percent chance that top executives in the fossil fuel industry gave a damn that yesterday was Earth Day: 0%
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Puppies meet sheepies...
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CHEERS to making the sun do some of the damn work, for a change. Yesterday was Earth Day, and President Biden rolled out some new climate-friendly initiatives, including one that will continue our slow-but-steady weaning off of fossil fuels:
President Joe Biden is marking Earth Day by announcing $7 billion in federal grants for residential solar projects serving 900,000-plus households in low- and middle-income communities. He also plans to expand his New Deal-style American Climate Corps green jobs training program.
The grants are being awarded by the Environmental Protection Agency, which unveiled the 60 recipients on Monday. The projects are expected to eventually reduce emissions by the equivalent of 30 million metric tons of carbon dioxide and save households $350 million annually, according to senior administration officials. […]
Forty-nine of the new grants are state-level awards, six serve Native American tribes and five are multi-state awards. They can be used for investments such as rooftop solar and community solar gardens.
Not to be outdone, Republicans announced their own measures by replacing vegetables in school lunches with chunks of coal, and winterizing homes by swathing them in the skins of their enemies. Message: they care.
CHEERS to Day 1. The first criminal trial of a former president of the United States got underway yesterday, and C&J has an exclusive transcript of what happened, condensed in a way that you can quickly absorb before you go about your day:
Blah blah blah HE'S GUILTY! BLAH blah blah HE'S INNOCENT! Blah blah blah BLAH blah OBJECTION! SUSTAINED! Blah blah blah BLAH blah Zzzzzzzzzzzz DEFENSE COUNSEL PLEASE WAKE UP THE DEFENDANT! Blah blah blah BLAH blah PECKER HA HA HA HIS LAST NAME IS PECKER! Blah blah blah BLAH blah LUNCH! Blah blah blah BLAH blah blah blah WHO FARTED?!! Blah blah blah BLAH blah ADJOURNED UNTIL TOMORROW!
Did I get any of that right? I was busy watching a Bewitched marathon.
JEERS to getting emphysema at 35,000 feet. My mom was a smoker, and I'll never forget flying with my parents and having to sit at the back of the plane because that was where the smokers sat so they wouldn't "bother" the non-smokers sitting in front of them. Uh huh, sure:
What were we thinking?!! Thankfully the ban on airborne puffery went into effect 36 years ago today. So now all we have to worry about is doors popping open, engines blowing apart, increases in climate-change-related turbulence, catching a lung-incapacitating virus, militant Christian gospel belchers, red-hatted anti-maskers, seat kickers and baby screamers. In other words: God bless Amtrak.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to uncorking some whupass. Enough Republicans in the House—after considerable soul-searching—decided over the weekend that maybe (just maybe) Russia wasn't their homeland and Vladimir Putin wasn't their president, so they helped approve a huge military relief package that will help Ukraine beat back Russia's advances. The Senate will approve the bill this week, and President Biden will sign it as soon as it lands on his desk. And that makes Ukraine, at long last, breathe a big sigh of relief:
Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy thanked U.S. political leaders Sunday for approving an aid package to Ukraine over the weekend, saying the new aid will give the country a chance at "victory" as it defends itself from Russia.
“I think this support will really strengthen the armed forces, I pray, and we will have a chance at victory if Ukraine really gets the weapons system, which we need so much, which thousands of soldiers need so much,” Zelenskyy, who spoke through an interpreter, said on NBC News' "Meet the Press." […]
“Now we have the chance to stabilize the situation and to overtake the initiative, and that’s why we need to actually have the weapons systems,” he added.
Among the much needed weapons are artillery shells that can inflict maximum damage. They'll need thousands of shells of every caliber and diameter. Or, if they want to end the war sooner, they can just launch one Marjorie Taylor Greene.
CHEERS and JEERS to "Ten-Cent Jimmy." Happy 233rd Birthday to that old stuffed shirt James Buchanan. In practice, he was a stuck-up, hanky-sniffing, slavery-enabling disaster as president. But on paper, his resume was pretty impressive:
• United States Minister to the United Kingdom
• 17th Secretary of State
• United States Senator from Pennsylvania
• U.S. Minister to Russia
• Member of the House of Representatives (PA-04: 4 terms, PA-03: 1 term)
• Chairman of the House Judiciary Committee
This year we got the 15th POTUS a special gift: an official elevation in rank on the presidential ratings list, moving up to #44, just above #45—disgraced, twice-impeached one-termer Donald Trump. Plus, of course, the usual "I Diddled While the Country Teetered on the Brink of Civil War and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt" t-shirt.
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Ten years ago in C&J: April 23, 2014
JEERS to all that freezing for nothing. I was hoping—as were all Mainers—that our frigid winter might've helped kill off some of the ticks that have infested the state in recent years. But those little f*ckers might as well have been living in a tropical paradise:
The 2013 incidence of Lyme disease, transmitted by deer ticks, was the highest ever recorded by the Maine Center for Disease Control and Prevention, with 1,349 cases across Maine.
The hardy arachnids lie dormant in the snow, and it takes a long period of bitterly cold weather without snow to even have a chance of knocking back the ticks, experts say.
By the way, there's an easy way to distinguish a tick from our state's tea party governor Paul LePage. One is a greedy little ankle biter with a pea brain whose perfectly willing to suck the blood out of ordinary Mainers. And the other is the exact same except he wears pants.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to Self-evident Truths—Part 299 in our 33,975-part series. There's simply no argument on this one: When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. And starting tonight you're gonna get an eyeful. Yes, it's a rare "Apocalyptic Jazz-Hands Pink Moon” moon, and we hope you're prepared to be dazzled:
Although we wish the name “Pink Moon” had to do with the color of the Moon, the reality is not quite as mystical or awe-inspiring. In truth, April’s full Moon often corresponded with the early springtime blooms of a certain wildflower native to eastern North America: Phlox subulata—commonly called creeping phlox or moss phlox—which also went by the name “moss pink.”
Thanks to this seasonal association, this full Moon came to be called the “Pink” Moon!
Usual full-moon drill: if skies are clear, get yer butt out in the back yard, look up, think of Neil Armstrong and Michael Collins (Buzz Aldrin, thankfully, is still with us), and give ‘em a wink. (Or, if you’re a werewolf, an “Arooooooooo!!!”)
Have a tolerable Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
"Let's be honest, if Donald Jr. and Eric Trump showed up in the Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool, is that going to make it any better? No."
—Attorney Mark Bederow
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