I've taken the existing transcripts I've seen of Stephen Colbert's brilliant monologue at the White House Correspondents Dinner, and the actual footage (complete video available at Democratic Underground and Google Video; more links to it here and here), and edited the transcripts (correcting spelling and punctuation, adding mistakenly omitted words, etc.) to produce the following improved transcript. I have now also transcribed all of Colbert's Press Secretary "audition video." Continue below the fold with me.
There's more below the fold:
The distinguished legal scholar (I don't know if he/she wants his/her name used) who sent me this happy news noted:
In Nuremberg and later in proceedings of the International Criminal Courts for Yugoslavia and Rwanda, a doctrine of per se ministerial liability for systematic abuses of detainees in wartime was crafted. Applying the legal standards of those cases to the current war, Donald Rumsfeld would clearly go to prison, or perhaps face the death penalty.
(Off Camera) . . . I want to be sure that I understood you correctly. You're saying the, the top cost for the US taxpayer will be $1.7 billion. No more than that?
For the reconstruction. And then there's 700 million in the supplemental budget for humanitarian relief, which we don't competitively bid 'cause it's charities that get that money.
(Off Camera) I understand. But as far as reconstruction goes, the American taxpayer will not be hit for more than $1.7 billion no matter how long the process takes?
That is our plan and that is our intention. And these figures, outlandish figures I've seen, I have to say, there's a little bit of hoopla involved in this.
Calpundit (from whom I stole this story) reports that for some strange reason this transcript apparently is no longer on the USAID's website. Surprise, surprise. He got it from the Google cache. Thank heaven for Google.
Come on, you Formidable Pharaoh of Fur,
King of Canines,
Baron of Beasts,
Prince of Pets,
Potentate of Pooches,
Monarch of Mongrels,
Maharajah of Mutts,
Sultan of Slobber,
Duke of Drool,
Wizard of Woof,
Avatar of Alliteration!
Dog of the Galaxy!
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