New York, NY - (JP) In a bid to prove he's not racist, a charge leveled at many who investigated Barack Obama's birth certificate, Billionaire Land Developer Donald Trump announced today that he intends to look into claims and suspicions that future presidential candidate Hillary Clinton is, in fact, a man.
"I'm a Classy Guy™, and I know classy guys, and Hillary Clinton is a classy guy," Donald Trump stated to reporters today, adding "People tell me her cajones are almost as big as mine. Almost."
Trump explained he's felt pressure by others to look into her background. A new movement, calling themselves "Manners" has been trending on the internet for weeks. This movement believes that Hillary Clinton is a man. Among many claims to support their suspicions, popular internet pundits say that only a man would be so interested in female reproductive rights.
Trump explained, "I'm not sexist, just like I'm not racist for distrusting Barack Obama, but people have been telling me they've had suspicions for years. They tell me that no self-respecting woman would wear those striped pants she wore in the 60s. 'Only a man would commit such an fashion crime', they tell me. Also, pants suits."
Trump continued "They say, not only did she keep her last name, but it's a secret code. Look it up, there are no 'Rodhams' in Chicago. It's all a fabrication. 'Rod' and 'ham' is a suggestive pun only a man would come up with."
The Billionaire said he was preparing requests to see Hillary Clinton's birth certificate, marriage certificate, and the birth certificate of Chelsea Clinton, the couple's daughter. However, many disbelievers state that times have changed and 21st century 'Manners' require a DNA test before treating someone like a lady.
They also claim that while the Constitution of the United States doesn't require a religious test, it doesn't say anything about transvaginal ultrasounds.
"This also explains Monica," Trump stated.
Asked if he was referring to the infamous intern, the Billionaire paused and said, "Hey, I'm a Classy Guy™, and all classy guys preferred Rachel. Only a man who's trying to cover something up would claim their favorite 'Friend' was Monica."
When asked to elaborate on what Hillary was covering, Trump said they'd have to wait for the results of his investigation.
But on his wait out of the interview, the famous Billionaire turned and said this reporter should look into what happened with an old friend of Hillary Clinton's.
Trump said, "His name was Ben, Benjamin Gawzee."