Last week, mettle fatigue ‘s Dvar Torah spoke of the last month of the Jewish year, Elul, and of how it is known as "Chodesh Harachamim V'haslichot" - The Month of Mercy and Forgiveness. In the 4 gospels, if we were to consider what would be most representative of mercy and forgiveness in the teachings of Jesus, the parable of the prodigal son stands out. It especially stands out this week both because of the aftermath of Trump’s pardoning of Joe Arpaio and because the Torah reading includes the section of the law that sets the stage for the events of the parable:
[Deu 21:18-21 KJV] 18 If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and [that], when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: 19 Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; 20 And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son [is] stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; [he is] a glutton, and a drunkard. 21 And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.
In scripture, there were few things deemed as destructive to the social order as children being rebellious and disrespectful to parents. As Samuel stated to King Saul in 1Sam 15:23 “For rebellion is as witchcraft and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry” and the obligation to honor one’s parents is numbered along with the prohibitions against murder, stealing and lying. From Cain to Jacob to Onan to Hophni and Phineas to Absalom and more, the bible shows, in generation after generation the wreckage of rebellious children is made clear. Despite this, the parable opens with a shocking request, followed by an even more shocking response:
Luk 15:11-32 And he said, A certain man had two sons: (12) And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me. And he divided unto them his living.
The goods the younger son demanded would be his upon the death his father; as such, to make this request is tantamount to the younger son’s telling his father that he wished he was dead. We are not given how he came to this point of overt disrespect of his father; some have suggested that like Cain he grew tired of being compared to his brother and coming up short; some have suggested that like Lot the allure of a life that looked good from a distance grew too great to ignore. But in the face of this disrespect, the father did not respond with calumny and vitriol and drag his youngest son down to those charged with judging such things; instead, he gave him what he asked for…in fact, the text says he gave to both sons what they’d be entitled to if he were dead, in accordance with Deut 21:15-17 with the elder brother receiving 2/3 and the younger 1/3 respectively of their father’s substance. The text goes on to say:
(13) And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living. (14) And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want. (15) And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country; and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. (16) And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat: and no man gave unto him.
To use today’s urban vernacular, the young man lived the life of a baller until life caught up with him and shut down the non-stop party that was his life and as high as his highs were, the lows that followed were much lower; so low, in fact, that not only did he take a job tending animals scripture called abominable he was reduced to scavenging sustenance out of the offal being fed to the swine he tended. The life he so wanted when he was living at home with his father and his brother turned out to be fool’s gold abandoned by all until his pride was broken:
(17) And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father's have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! (18) I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee, (19) And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants. (20) And he arose, and came to his father.
If he had gone home seeking to be his father’s son, he would have had to face the consequences of his disrespect towards his father both in demanding his inheiritance while his father lived and in his living a life that brought shame to his family name. Like Jacob, he recognized his guilt but was looking for an angle to not fully have to pay the price for it. The text continues:
But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him. (21) And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son. (22) But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet: (23) And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry: (24) For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry.
The younger son returned home expecting to pay a heavy price and hoping it would just be being disowned and living as a servant from thence forth and he was shocked to find mercy and forgiveness at the hands of his father. Mercy in that the father ran out to meet him to prevent the community at large from fulfilling their duty under Deut 21:18-21; there was no statute of limitations on the penalty for his rebellion. The father’s compassion was not something that just occurred; he had already forgiven his son even though he never knew if his son would ever return to actually benefit from that forgiveness. Justice required a penalty; mercy and forgiveness born of the father’s compassion stayed justice’s hand and the father made an overt demonstration of putting his son back under his protection by clothing him in the finest robe and putting shoes on his feet and a ring on his finger which demonstrated that not only was he pardoning his younger son but also restoring him to his place in the family…but everyone wasn’t on board with that:
(25) Now his elder son was in the field: and as he came and drew nigh to the house, he heard musick and dancing. (26) And he called one of the servants, and asked what these things meant. (27) And he said unto him, Thy brother is come; and thy father hath killed the fatted calf, because he hath received him safe and sound. (28) And he was angry, and would not go in:
This is the part of the parable most don’t pay enough attention to…and the part most applicable to current events. Most would have been content if the parable ended in verse 24 and too often it is treated as if it did because while most try to act as if they are like the father, magnanimous and forgiving, the truth is they are the elder brother lacking in empathy and wishing the brother that was dead to him had stayed dead.
These are they who think there is no place for compassion, mercy or forgiveness.
These are they who chant “lock him up” and who, once that brother is gone, want to build a wall to make sure he cannot return.
These are they for who pardon is about scoring political points instead of sharing mercy and providing restoration.
These are they who think the family cannot be great again unless his brother is gone again because his brother no longer deserves to be part of the family, if ever he did at all.
These are they who are so fixed on the speck of sawdust in their brother’s eye that they are in denial about the entire Home Depot lumber department in their own.
These are they who condemn the outward rebellion of their brother while blind to the inward rebellion of their own…
therefore came his father out, and intreated him.
The elder brother’s holier than thou notwithstanding, while the father did not have to go out as far for him as the father did for his brother, he still had to go out to bring his elder son in.
(29) And he answering said to his father, Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends: (30) But as soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf.
The conversation between the father and the elder brother reveals a few things:
- The elder brother’s anger caused him to lie on his father saying he never gave him anything despite his outward obedience even though we know from the outset of the parable that when his brother demanded of his father, his father gave to *both* sons. Here we see the true colors of the obedient son…and why the commandment obligates that we honor rather than just obey. The elder brother shows us that one can be outwardly obedient and remain inwardly rebellious and standing in need of the very mercy and forgiveness extended by the father to the brother he condemns as unworthy.
- While the father was seeking his son’s return from points unknown the elder brother knew where he was all along and knew what he was doing all along. While his brother was away, he built himself up with how much more deserving he was than his prodigal and profligate brother was and he convinced himself that his father had not given him anything; he earned all of it because he was the good son who did everything he was told.
- The elder brother resented his father because his father let his brother leave rather than having him judged and executed in accordance with Deut 21:18-21.
- The elder brother saw it as a zero sum game where his father’s giving his undeserving brother anything upon his return was only done by stealing it from him
It is the posture and poutrage of the elder brother that has become ubiquitous in political and societal discourse today and the lessons of Chodesh Harachamim V'haslichot too often are lost…both between factions on the left as well as what we see from the right. Whether we are talking about DACA, protests and anti-protests, SUX/ROX or any point on which sides are divided, it is the essential that we carry mercy and forgiveness…especially when we put ourselves out to judge others because Yom Kippur…our day of reckoning will come in one form or another. The parable ends with the father mildly rebuking the elder brother who refers to his brother as “this thy son” telling his father that while his father may accept him back in the family he will not and the father replies:
(31) And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine. (32) It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found.
When we are unforgiving we keep adding conditions for acceptance to those we reject and when they meet them we keep moving the goalposts; we keep moving the goalposts because we never had any intention of accepting them in the first place…the parable has no resolution; it leaves the ball in the elder brother’s court without telling us of how he responded because the ultimate lesson of the month of Elul, IMO is that we are to be forgiving as often as we are offended or as the Lord’s prayer puts it, forgive us our trespasses and we forgive those who trespass against us.
Forgiveness is a much heavier lift than judgement but thankfully our help is closest to us in this month of Elul. May we not be too proud, too bitter or too unforgiving to seek it.
Shabbat shalom.
