Life in a pandemic is a time of high anxiety for most of us. Even if you’re not a health care worker worrying about sufficient PPE and exposure to the virus or one of the 1400 NYPD members with a confirmed diagnosis, you’re worried about whether the people in the supermarket are getting within six feet of you or how you’ll pay your rent or for your food or how to make sure your child gets their homework done while you try to work from home.
Here in Connecticut, where we’re fourth per capita in cases and fifth per capita in deaths, all the other tragedies of life go on. A former student’s grandmother has died; a former coworker’s young daughter, who has struggled with depression for several years, committed suicide; and an eighteen-year-old had a traffic accident, which resulted in a 14-year-old and a sixteen-year-old passenger being thrown from the vehicle and killed,
And yet, despite this, many people have found something in their lives to feel good about. In my town’s Neighbors and Friends page on Facebook, people have posted about these. As you can see above, someone used their Christmas lights to put a heart on their lawn as a message to those who walk or drive by. On some streets they’re ringing bells at 8:00 pm, or putting hearts on doors, or teddy bears or rainbows in the windows.
People have posted about discovering that their children can actually get along, that they’re enjoying family game nights, taking walks, or not commuting. And, of course, they’re all talking about how much they love teachers and health care workers and grocery store workers and truck drivers!
So I thought it might be good to share a silver lining experience. And if you want, to accompany it with something you miss—especially if it’s something you used to find annoying.
Two weeks ago, I was driving my son home from work because I didn’t want him to take the bus. He’s 26 and is on the Spectrum and doesn’t drive (something that we were going to work on this spring/summer). He asked me how long this was going to last. I told him that, quite likely, it would last at least until the summer of 2021, and that we didn’t get to complain because we had a roof over our heads and food on our table and that’s what counted. And yet . . . And yet . . . There are so many things to be missed. Who knew what a privilege it was to go to the supermarket 4 times in a week because you’d forgotten things? And, man, I just want to go into a Starbucks, or have lunch out. Or visit my mother in the nursing home and sit there with her and my father and discuss what an idiot the occupant of the White House is. Or see a movie with a friend. Or even attend a synagogue committee meeting. (Yes, that’s how desperate the situation is becoming, folks).
There’s been a silver lining for me (but not for my husband). The courts here in Connecticut are mostly closed and so he’s been home. AND, even worse for him, there’s no lacrosse season. He’s been coaching youth lacrosse since he graduated college. And this is lacrosse season. So that means coaching lacrosse, watching our town’s high school teams play, his university team play, and watching games with teams from adjacent towns in order to make scouting reports. Between that and work, it’s a nearly 24/7 proposition. I really don’t see him from March through mid-June. And, now, there is no lacrosse. And so, today, we took a walk together. And I see him a lot every day. And that turns out to be a really good thing. Who knows? We may actually survive retirement one day!
What little things do you really miss? What’s something good you’ve experienced since this started. Share them with us.