We join groups for many reasons. We feed on the enthusiasm of other members. We share achievements and goals with people who have the same interests. In many cases we form a strong bond with other group members which may be just as strong or even stronger than the bond we have with our parents and siblings. Often, the survival and prosperity of the group we belong to becomes our prime interest. We defend the group from harm and
vigilantly guard against outsiders who may have evil intentions.
I know this firsthand, because in the 1970s I joined an eastern meditation cult and spend twenty years putting the interest of the cult leader above my family, my education and my personal life. The members were taught not to associate with non-members. Anyone outside the group was ignorant and hostile and not worthy of our sympathy. The group was totally focused on its success, which ironically was to help humanity and destroy ignorance.
I left the group twenty five year ago, but still have problems distinguishing between my own thoughts and group thoughts. Every once in a while something happens that arouses the pent up anger at groups inside me. This week I could not stop thinking of child molestation and Penn State
The students and faculty of Penn State are in the dilemma I know very well. Its hard to believe this, but there will always be an "instinct" in them to put the well-being of Joe Paterno and their Penn State Family above the well-being of others not in their group including children. This is neither bad nor good - that instinct is always there. The challenge is for people to listen to other parts of themselves and come up with their own personal morality independent of the group.
The cult I was with used brainwashing techniques to reinforce my allegiance to them and discourage me from finding my own voice and making my own decisions. I sympathize with the Penn State students who feel angry and maybe even abandoned and persecuted by those outside Penn State.
The last few days I have been very angry about how the structure of Penn State that ended up unable to stop the molestation of children. I also have little hope that Universities will ever change their procedures when they can make millions from TV contracts and alumni donations. Last night I wrote an angry post about what a corrupt board of trustees would look for in their next head football coach. It was full of satire as it listed all the covering up of cash payoffs, wild parties, procuring women for the players, and covering up from the hideous acts of assistant coaches.) What I wrote, though reeking of anger, was from my own voice, uncensored by group think.
In the rest of this diary I will try to be calm and analyze the reaction of those who read my diary.
Since it is either censored or HRed (have no idea what that means) anyone wanting to read it has to go to Demconwatch where it was published without problem. The link is -
http://www.democraticconventionwatch.com/...
I have read and reread the comments on my post and my feelings have turned from anger to sorrow. In truth I want to be a part of a group (otherwise I wouldn't have stayed in the cult for 20 years) but my self worth is always destroyed when people in the groups I join knocking me down.
Just after I posted the diary, I signed on DKOS again and read that my post was an embarrassment to DKOS and disgusting. There was also talk, which I didn't understand about an avalanche of HRs and something else, a tip jar???? I was told that the post was "completely freaking inappropriate". Someone else said that the reason for HRing my post needs no explanation.
There was another line of comments concerning with the fact that I registered with DKOS several years ago and that I seldom post. I usually post on DemConWatch and a few other places and wonder why DKOS posters rank diaries by the quantity of diarist submissions.
I began to understand that the group didn't like me writing satiricly about the child molestations but one felt OKto refering to me and/or my diary using the word "DICK!" Another commenter wrote "SICKO"
Another person talked about banning or seriously warning me. (about what??)
I then asked the commentators to tell me what I did wrong!
I haven't posted for a while and don 't understand certain terms like HR. Please explain to me what I am doing wrong.
Based on your comments, I must have screwed things up, but my intent was pure satire. From what I am reading and seeing, there is a culture at Penn State to protect all staff and students from scandal, and to cover up all crimes.
Please illumine me as to what I did wrong.
The response for this comment was more insults and threats of "loosing credibility"???
The only objective suggestion was for me to read the FAQ to learn what HR meant. (I wonder if tip jar is in there too)
I then wrote a longer comment about how in organizations like the church or Universities, everyone is taught to cover things up and the rights of anyone not part of the group are unimportant. I said that I firmly believe in that idea and will stand by smy post and don't care if it is censored of if I am banned from DKOS.
In reply to this I was told that I was self righteous and couldn't really care about writing articles and exposing ignorance because I didn't do it on DKOS.
Maybe one of my commentators is right when he/she said I don't know the line between offensive jokes and satire. DKOS may have a higher standard than Demconwatch. What are your censorship policies?
The last commentator wrote an encouraging comment to me about continuing to write. I am grateful to that person, but I am still obsessed with continuously reading and rereading all the comments and trying to understand the hatred and contempt that is behind their insults.
