In the wake of yesterday's GOP failure to repeal the ACA, I'm sure many a liberal friend of mine will be gloating. Ha, ha. But you're not going to hear me going on and on about what an utterly brutal, ass-kicking, ninja-beat-down face-crush the President and his party endured on Capitol Hill Friday. I'm not the kind of guy to sit back and jeer at what most of the nation views as Paul Ryan's humiliating impotence as Speaker of the House; his weak-kneed, embarrassingly inept attempt to get the vote up long enough to penetrate the soft target of public health policy and, you know, score.
No, I think that kind of petty mockery is unnecessary--especially in the face of what must be the most gut-wrenching defeat and bitch-slapping comeuppance of a right-wing party since a black man was elected president twice. Far be it from me to taunt the Grand Old Party like it had become so incompetent at legislating after a near-decade of doing nothing but obstruction that it couldn't write decent health care policy if its dick was a magic marker and the world was a blank billboard.
Because I think that's just mean.
Instead, I believe we progressives should reach out across the ideological divide in sympathy. Like you would to a circus car full of clowns who've just been flattened and crapped on by an enraged trained elephant with explosive diarrhea. It's only right.
So let's just tone down the rhetoric people, ok? I'm sure the last thing our friends across the aisle want to hear right now is some vindictive rant about how pathetically useless they must look to the nation, having dropped a Trump-sized ball twice in one week in some ridiculously stupid, tone-deaf attempt to overrule the will of their constituents while unavoidably exposing the ever-growing fractures within their party. How would you feel if your biggest campaign promise had flamed out like the Hindenberg at the hitching post in the first two months of your control of Congress? Not very good, I can tell you. Probably as bad as about two hundred of them felt this past winter when they were chased by constituents out of their own town hall meetings in terror, weeping like tear-gassed protesters. Why don't you try facing that kind of screaming outrage from the voters you're trying to screw over with terrible bills and see how you handle it, smart guy? Yeah. Not so easy, is it?
But if I know anything about the Party of Lincoln, these scruffy imps of a conservative caucus are going to pick themselves up, dust off their Italian leather shoes, and get back to work bravely dismantling the fabric of society. And more power to them. I'd be lunging in desperate hope to rush through the next of so many disastrous legislative actions too, if I only had until next year to get it all done.
Peace.
