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Wed May 08, 2013 at 03:47 AM PDT

My Brother has Alzheimer's

by x

His memory started slipping in his fifties. Early Alzheimer's.

He got it from our dad.

What kills me is he was so devoted to learning. He studied & became a rocket scientist. He overcame all the barriers kids like us faced. Single mom, alcoholic, semi literate, immigrant from Latin America. He was a nerd.

I was a class A fuck-up. Wild, bad choices, regret everything I ever did. I was a very clever dumbass.

I wish I could forget, but I remember everything. I'll remember every stupid thing I ever did.

But my brother can't remember the last thing he said.

Man, that's just not fair.

I am grateful that he says he loves me.

I love him too.

He is a sweet, loving man.

I think he'll be ok.

As long as I live, he'll have me. Possibly the only person he remembers eventually.

He seems to remember the good times. Thank Heaven for that.

It just isn't fair. I wish I could forget, & he should get to remember.


Tue Apr 16, 2013 at 01:17 AM PDT


by x

Sometimes I feel like Lucy
face down in a river
in the Olduvai Gorge
eons of mud permeating
my bones

I saw her bones yesterday.
A tiny hominid.
I'd imagined her larger,
but she was the size of a child.

Sometimes I wish
I could be her
all grown up
wading in a river
in the cradle of the hominids
in the Great Rift Valley

I wish I could remember
being Lucy
to see if I've changed at all.
If I've really evolved.
Or am I still
that tiny hominid
Face down
In a river
In the Olduvai Gorge.

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Wed Apr 10, 2013 at 02:11 AM PDT


by x

I went to the casino
Hit the jackpot
But didn't win a dime
Because I didn't bet the max.

Went home & the house was burglarized
They got all my gold
No one got hurt

Cat got a tumor

This is not my lucky year


Should I

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Sun Mar 31, 2013 at 03:40 AM PDT

We're All Jesus Now

by x

Who do you think I am?
I am you
You are the Sun God
As am I

Don't be afraid
You need to be strong
This whole mess will pass

Love the poor
Set free those who are oppressed
Turn the other cheek
Do God's work

And in the Spring
Celebrate the resurrection
Of apple blossoms,
And plant seeds

Butterflies & bees
What a miracle!
We will never die

We must go to Jeruselem

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Fri Dec 21, 2012 at 08:27 AM PST

Here We Are

by x

The end of an era. Error. Air. Or not.
The same old world is still here.
Maybe some microbes had a cataclysm
& cancer, polio or ebola died.

A kink in a DNA strand may have expanded
Removing baby toes from all hominids forward.
Future shoes will be really really cute
& fit like a glove. Podiatrists will get rich.

Another strand may be absorbed
Keeping the helix intact
Let's say it's the dementia strand
Eventually forgotten.

Whichever world ends today
Maybe something sweeter and
More nourishing will grow out of its remains
For the benefit of all beings.

The worlds that end today
Might be dirty wars, disease, guns,
Intolerance & avarice. & maybe
Their energy will be transformed.

I've heard that energy never dies.
So contrary to our perceptions
All energy that ever was or will be is here now.
Transformed. Maybe as a flower or butterfly.

Perhaps this apocalypse will
Dissolve the notion that we should strive
To occupy a body for 150 years.
Personally, I'll be good to go at 88.

If we're lucky, a deep-hearted
compassion strand will double
and spiral 2 - 3 times
For the benefit of all beings.

A Tinypocalypse, if you will.
A cellular renewal.
An evolutionary leap
Goodbye to the old DNA ways.

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Sun Nov 18, 2012 at 09:54 PM PST

Only in America

by x

We worked our asses off,  & we won!

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Wed Nov 07, 2012 at 01:19 AM PST

A Land of Hope and Dreams

by x

This train carries fools and kings...

I am so happy to be on this train with you misfits and seers.


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Sun Sep 30, 2012 at 04:52 PM PDT

Brothers and Sisters

by x

For the benefit of all beings

Welcome to Brothers and Sisters, the weekly meetup for prayer* and community at Daily Kos.  We put an asterisk on pray* to acknowledge that not everyone uses conventional religious language, but may want to share joys and concerns, or simply take solace in a meditative atmosphere. Anyone who comes in the spirit of mutual respect, warmth and healing is welcome.
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Sun Aug 05, 2012 at 04:44 PM PDT

Brothers and Sisters

by x

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Thu Jun 14, 2012 at 08:32 AM PDT

Good Gus Morning!

by x

Nice to see ya.

A word from the CDC:

GUS (Gave Up Smoking) is a community support diary for Kossacks in the midst of quitting smoking. Any supportive comments, suggestions or positive distractions are appreciated. If you are quitting or thinking of quitting, please -- join us!  We kindly ask that politics be left out.  

You can also click the GUS tag to view all diary posts, or access the GUS Library at dKosopedia for a great list of stop-smoking links. Check it out!


The best part of being smoke free is

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Sun May 20, 2012 at 03:54 PM PDT

Hop on the GUS Bus

by x

May 19, 2012 was my first tobacco free birthday in 44 years!  & I'm in my 5th month! Me! Tobacco Free!
w00t!!! Pictures, Images and Photos

GUS (Gave Up Smoking) is a community support diary for Kossacks in the midst of quitting smoking. Any supportive comments, suggestions or positive distractions are appreciated. This is a community diary with one particular aim: to provide support to quitters. Please respect the commitment that GUSsacks are making by doing your part to keep this conversation space safe and supportive. You can click the GUS [1] tag to view all previous diary posts in this series.
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Sat Jan 21, 2012 at 02:19 PM PST

Johnny Otis Will Never Die

by x

And he won't fade away, either.

Johnny Otis, ‘Godfather of Rhythm and Blues,’ Dies at 90
Johnny Otis, the musician, bandleader, songwriter, impresario, disc jockey and talent scout who was often called “the godfather of rhythm and blues,” died on Tuesday at his home in Altadena, Calif. He was 90.
With a keen ear for talent, he helped steer a long list of performers to stardom, among them Etta James, Jackie Wilson, Esther Phillips and Big Mama Thornton — whose hit recording of “Hound Dog,” made in 1952, four years before Elvis Presley’s, was produced by Mr. Otis and featured him on drums.

At Mr. Otis’s induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1994, Ms. James referred to him as her “guru.” (He received similar honors from the Rhythm & Blues Foundation and the Blues Foundation.)

Mr. Otis was also a political activist, a preacher, an artist, an author and even, late in life, an organic farmer. But it was in music that he left his most lasting mark.

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